Your significant other - the balancing act

[Jeff White]

My previous relationship ended because of many things that don't need to be aired, but there definitely was jealousy towards time spent alone or in the studio. She was into TV and bar-hopping. I was into engineering as much as possible and having a celebratory drink at the end of the night. I've gotten busier in the past year and I'm coming out of unemployment trying to engineer full-time, so I can't be involved with someone who literally needs me around all of the time after 5pm M-F and all weekend.

And then I met someone who just gets it. My girlfriend is a mom, an abstract oil painter, and a bartender. I was working sessions while she was at work so we had some nights together. And she just moved into a new house and we were spending a lot of time during the day putting the new place together. But now I'm either learning the ropes and working out of one of the larger studios in town 8-12 hrs a day and then running sessions out of my home studio at night. She's preparing for a gallery opening with friends and getting back into painting and working 40 hrs a week and needs time for her daughter. So in the past few weeks our time together has definitely changed, including the time I get to hang out with her and her daughter, which I really love and look forward to Things are different now. We're used to spending a lot of time together, including me hanging at her bar when she's working.

But guess what? We needed the space. It's healthy. The coolest thing is how supportive she is of my artistic pursuits and mine of hers. She needs time alone as much as I do. Even more so because her alone time is non-existent as a mother (not that she would have that any other way). So far things are working out and thankfully we both have come into separate opportunities when we both needed them... individually, artistically, and as a couple. But this is new and uncharted territory for us.

Relationships are work. Don't forget that. Talk these things out and be honest and respectful... but expect the same in return.

Ummmm... thethingwiththestuff... we need to get a beer when you have some time.

Jeff

[thethingwiththestuff]

yeah, got pleny of that... and i'm at kfn or jbs almost every night this week