ok your the producer, you tell me

[axial]

heres a new song, we are just demoing it out, so tell me what you would do, the reason I put this out there like this is cos, its a basic song with basic structure a very rlaxed state of emotion, so its ready for heavy critique. Its not going to be our best song, but it will be good. That is withyour guidence as our producer http://www.tukada.org/tukada_i-understand.mp3

[JohnDavisNYC]

well... i like 3/4.. so i dig the intro.

i feel like the key is too low for the singer... seems like he's pushing his voice to far down. i'd raise it at least a whole step, maybe even more like a major 3rd. i think it could be more compelling if the singer could project in a more natural range. i'd probably go for a Sea Change kind of sound. some tight, dry drums playing in 3 would be nice (i'd try to avoid the obvious more 6/8 patterns, as that whole Jeff Buckley, the Bends kinda 6 feel is kida tired to me). I think i'd take some time with the singer to work on the phrasing of the melody with the words... i feel like there are some strong words/syllables that are on weak beats and notes, which with a little work could make them more memorable.

maybe i'm way off, though. I'd probably process the piano and make it kinda 'wierd'... through a tape slapback or something. i'd try to take this as far from the Coldplay kind of thing, because i could hear it easily falling into that super lush super nice, but almost too nice and kinda sacharine thing... i'd try to capture more of the raw, vulnerable side of it, like Beck.

my .02$

cheers,
john

[rhythm ranch]

well... i like 3/4.. so i dig the intro.

I must be missing something - sounds like 4/4 to me.

I like the tune, but agree that the vocal is not as strong as it could be. Doesn't have to be beefy, but the singer doesn't sound comfortable. The guitar and piano are very upfront and seem to overwhelm the already compromised vocal.

[joeysimms]

it's reaallly reaallly rough, I'd be dragging those chords and words /phrasing around the block alot more times, one part at a time, until something more solid happens. keep it up.

[JohnDavisNYC]

rhythm ranch: it's technically 12/8, yes, the overall pulse is 4, but the subdivisions are 3, and i'd stay away from too much complexity in the articulation in the drums, not too much ghost notes, etc, thinking less in 12 and more of 3.

j

[axial]

so basicly as stronger vocal take thats more defined in melody and bring down the piano and elctric to a more supportive level?

thanx cos this is one of those songs where you just get to a certain point and your like ok, its done but, is it done? and thats where you high class producers step in!

[Lostboy]

here's what i see happening:

i really like everything but the vocals, and the vocals i don't have a huge problem with. i think you should keep the instrumentation as it is, i would suggest not adding percussion because it has kind of a loping, black heart procession-y feel to it right now without any drums. i would like to hear what it sounds like with the same vocal take, but with the vocals way up in the mix. i might have a problem with the vocals just because they're buried under everything else. i like this, though, especially the noodley guitar bits.

[mallocup]

its 6/8

[joeysimms]

thanx cos this is one of those songs where you just get to a certain point and your like ok, its done but, is it done?

Yes, exactly .. the best thing to do is play it til it IS done. This one, IMO, could use some more time on each individaul part to give things more definition. The phrasing, the beat, the key, the parts, the buildup, the letdown, the washer, the dryer, the tollbooth, the cupcake, etc...

[axial]

yeah, I would say overall, its not our best song or anything, the idea is a calm collected sensitive person making a statement of understanding and resolve, and support of a seperated future. I think if someone close to you had just left and some how you understood and wanted to say that, this song would make perfect sense! maybe not.

anyways thanx, this folkier thing is new to the three of us, since we are from rock bands.
plus if you like th guitar on that you might like his band inwhich I recorded aswell http://www.channingcope.com/ he also plays the violin in tukada
and jason who is playing the piano also plays dums in this band http://www.goodbye-bluemonday.com/ jason also plays guitar too
and I also play bass in this band www.thedropscience.com

if you are bored on the net and want to see what a lil of SD is up to

[joeysimms]

yeah, I would say overall, its not our best song or anything,..

Oh, I didn't say that.. just that for me, I like to pound things in, one part at a time, until I forget I'm playing it, you know? By then, everything about the song has improved. The track posted reminds of the "first pass" type thing where you grab a recorder and record it right away so you don't forget it.

[Lostboy]

i definitely see that point, joey, but some of my favorite records have been recorded live without a lot of rehearsal, and it sounds like the song is getting written in front of you. sometimes i like that effect ....

[joeysimms]

Totally agreed, there's no substitute for that, but it's not exactly easy to <i>pull off</i>, you know?

[axial]

yeah, I would say overall, its not our best song or anything,..

Oh, I didn't say that.. just that for me, I like to pound things in, one part at a time, until I forget I'm playing it, you know? By then, everything about the song has improved. The track posted reminds of the "first pass" type thing where you grab a recorder and record it right away so you don't forget it.

oh no no. thats what i was saying, I tend to have a very relaxed yet focused stlye of writing cos I'm into sloppy music and I don't always like polished, and that being said I'm going to follow you guys as the producers and play it over and over just cos thats the experiment, you guys are the producers!

thanx for everyones guidance.