Public Displays of Idiocy

[digdug]

Okay, so what stoopid shit do you do in public:

We used to throw trash cans on each other all the time.

We'll always start taking our clothes off at bars (keep in mind, we're a bunch of fat, lazy drunks, so it ain't pretty) - this ones especially fun when you see that you're running other patrons off. Been thrown out a few times, even temporarily banned for it. It's usually just down to the underwear, but occasionally...

My buddy loves to ask if I've got any cocaine at the WORST places, when it's obviously going to make a lot of folks uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel bad for the old ladies with their grandkids...


He'll also do this shit at shows that I love. Puts his arms up in the air to better "feel" to music, stumbles and sways like he's Jim Morrison, and when unfortunate folks get anywhere near him (like 50 ft.), he finds a way to put his armpits in their faces. It's the most confrontational thing I've ever seen. The best is when it's late, so a lot of people are leaving. He'll just catch em all as they past. Amazingly, he's never gotten into a fight. I love this, but again, I kinda feel bad for those receiving the armpits...

I also like to pick my nose at stoplights, but that's just cause I'm a picker.

[Shabbadoo]

why wait for stoplights?

Once I was watching Of Montreal and this annoying couple came and stood right in front of me and proceeded to try and have a loud conversation over the music. They were standing real close and I wasn't about to let them take my space or ruin my show. At the end of the next song I started clapping as hard as I could right between their heads thinking they would get annoyed. Amazingly, this didn't work so I went into a big coughing fit, coughing loudly right towards them and in their ears and bending over into the space they were standing in.

That did the trick, and I had a clear veiw the rest of the show which was completely wonderful and everyone should see them if they have the chance.

[wing]

the other day, i was telling my girlfriend how i like young asian dudes that dress like they're still in their homeland, like the guys in kung fu movies from the 70s. i see a few kids like this now and again, and i think it's cool looking, and wish i could pull it off.

problem is, when standing in line at a grocery store, i just so happened to loudly open this thought of mine by saying "i really like young asian males...", and at that point my girlfriend was pointing right in front of me with this weird look on her face-- turns out there was a young asian dude standing right in front of me. i noticed he backed away some and was looking at me weird from then on. haha...

point is, i love doing this sort of stuff.

yea, my pals and i also say racist jokes in all the wrong places, and talk about doing crack and pimping ho's in the least prudent of moments.

[cassettefetish]

I will tell a waitress she is a bitch, if she is a bitch, or bastard. Same for store clerks.

Ummmm

When I see a group kids and there are strangers around, I say, "damn I wish I had the van and a big bag of starbrbursts."

"Damn I wish I wouldn;t have shot up before we came."

lots of drug humor.

--Nick

[fuckface]

i always put on my walkman headphones and talk really loud in stores, like i dont realize im talking that loud , you know? but i really do it on purpose....
ya asking for coke on the bus loudly is fun

[Shabbadoo]

In the days of my youth (long before cell phones) in my hometown was a huge shopping center in the shape of an L, with a pay phone at each tip of the L. My friends and I had a bunch of good times covering the earpiece of one phone up with ketchup or some other condiment and then calling it from the other phone way across the parking lot and then waiting for some jackass to answer it. It's funny how people react... the best was when they would try to play it off like nothing happened and just walk away.

Man, we were nerds.

that reminds me of my friend who used to love calling the local PBS pledge drives. He put the number on speed dial and waited until they showed the phone workers on the TV screen then called. You could totally tell which call was his, and then he would hang up and we would watch the reactions.

I know it's totally dorky too, but it still cracks me up to remember some of those phone volunteers and the looks on their faces when they realized that they were on camera and no one was on the line.

[wing]

I often take my gut out in public, let it stick out, slap it hard, say things to it, people give wonderfully weird looks.

I love freaking the common citizen out... and giving them a story to tell to their family and friends around the water cooler.

[I'm Painting Again]

Lets see..when i was younger we would..

throw m80's at cars from the overpass..write graffiti all over the highways and train lines..get drunk and high and lay under the train bridges..hang out in the subway and amtrack tunnels and light fires and rob other graffiti writers who came there or get robbed..take acid and walk around bad neighborhoods all night..gets you beat up a lot btw..drive to rural places to rob hardware stores and home depot type places..smoke crack with homeless people..steal copper from the city electrical system and sell it off..
this is all pretty funny being upper middle class..im not like this anymore im not a kid anymore but sometimes i still get stupid when i drink, and thats not very often to begin with..this is kind of

[Bear]

The other day (monday) I was in this restaurant and there were no avilable seats. It was a seat yourself kind of place, so I just stood near all the tables and started gyrating. Then I added a little bit of headbanging, and viola! (yes, I spelled that correctly - it sounds so much funnier when pronounced as the string instrument), people left. It's the best way to clear a table. And I've been practicing simultaneously gyrating and headbanging in public, which is by far the best place to do it. Especially if you're in a line for something.

[wing]

The other day (monday) I was in this restaurant and there were no avilable seats. It was a seat yourself kind of place, so I just stood near all the tables and started gyrating. Then I added a little bit of headbanging, and viola! (yes, I spelled that correctly - it sounds so much funnier when pronounced as the string instrument), people left. It's the best way to clear a table. And I've been practicing simultaneously gyrating and headbanging in public, which is by far the best place to do it. Especially if you're in a line for something.

this is so true. it gets you whatever you want. the other day at guitar center, they were giving me free guitars and mics in hopes that i would quit rocking their minds with so much gyrating and headbanging. score!

[Bear]

You have a power. Please do not abuse it. Wizard.

[rauri76]

The last time I did something idiotic in public the NYPD threw me in holding fer 24 hours. That was the last time I had idiotic fun in NYC. I hate this city.

[wayne kerr]

i was telling my girlfriend

Excuse me, your WHAT?????

Are we talking Marianne here???? If not, can I have her number? Hell, even if... awww never mind, I'll be a gentleman about this. Our little wing is growing up...

S?H

[pvassil3]

just walk around a place with alot of people like the mall and say out loud to your freind "so do you still suck dick for coke"? it makes them look bad when they start saying out loud what are you talking about i never did that blah blah blah....funny stuff