Ha, yeah, that episode was on channel 4 over here just last night, that's a goody.rolandk wrote:Homer gets thrown in jail for drunk driving. Marge goes in to bail him out.
Chief Wiggum: "Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is DOA."
Marge: "WHAT!?? HE'S DEAD???"
Chief: "OH! OH! I'M SORRY! He's DUI, I always get those mixed up."
Another lady walks in, says to Chief: "I'm here to pick up my husband, he's DUI."
Chief: "Uhhh....."
Favorite Simpsons quote
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Mr burns: Are you familiar with our state's usury laws?
Homor: Usu......
Mr. Burns: Oh, I'm sorry i must of made up something that didn't exist, now sign here.
Homor: Usu......
Mr. Burns: Oh, I'm sorry i must of made up something that didn't exist, now sign here.
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
"I'm gonna get what I've always wanted: A solid gold house."
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
'The $10,000 is mighty tempting, Marty, but I'm gonna have to go with the elephant."
"Don't worry, Lisa. That's only what you'd look like if you were a cartoon character."
"Don't worry, Lisa. That's only what you'd look like if you were a cartoon character."
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Kang as Bob Dole: Abortions for all!
Crowd: Booo!
Kang as Bob Dole: Very well, no abortions for anyone!
Crowd: Booo!
Kodos as Bill Clinton: Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
Crowd: Yaaay!
Crowd: Booo!
Kang as Bob Dole: Very well, no abortions for anyone!
Crowd: Booo!
Kodos as Bill Clinton: Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
Crowd: Yaaay!
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Lenny to Homer - ...usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom with you.
Then there's the big one - Grampa's rambling story that goes nowhere.
One trick is to tell em stories that dont go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em. Give me five bees for a quarter, youd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didnt have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
Then there's the big one - Grampa's rambling story that goes nowhere.
One trick is to tell em stories that dont go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em. Give me five bees for a quarter, youd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didnt have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Can't believe no one has mentioned Comic Book Guy yet:
"Very well. I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."
"Worst episode ever."
"This high-speed modem is intolerably slow"
"There's no emoticon for what I am feeling!!!"
...but my all-time fave is that Homer beer quote.
"Very well. I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."
"Worst episode ever."
"This high-speed modem is intolerably slow"
"There's no emoticon for what I am feeling!!!"
...but my all-time fave is that Homer beer quote.
"I would imagine that the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is fucking clean." -Hedberg
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twitter: drycounty
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
I didn't quote him cause I think he's kind of a dick.DryCounty wrote:Can't believe no one has mentioned Comic Book Guy yet:
"Very well. I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."
"Worst episode ever."
"This high-speed modem is intolerably slow"
"There's no emoticon for what I am feeling!!!"
...but my all-time fave is that Homer beer quote.
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Some more:
Bart : Dad, we're all out of food, even the ingredients for food. You ate all the taragon and you drank all the soy sauce"
Kang as Bob Dole: We must move forward not backwards, upwards not forwards and be constanly twirling twiling twirling
Same episode
Homer : These politicians make me want to vomit in terror!
Homer to the Smashing Pumpkins : Thanks to your bleak world view my children no longer expect a future I can't posibly afford (or something like that)
Bart : Dad, we're all out of food, even the ingredients for food. You ate all the taragon and you drank all the soy sauce"
Kang as Bob Dole: We must move forward not backwards, upwards not forwards and be constanly twirling twiling twirling
Same episode
Homer : These politicians make me want to vomit in terror!
Homer to the Smashing Pumpkins : Thanks to your bleak world view my children no longer expect a future I can't posibly afford (or something like that)
3 Things to remember : Bones Heal, chicks dig scars and America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world!
Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
dream scene...
homers head is a giant doghnut & he's eating some while sitting at the breakfast table....
marge: "homey, stop pickin at your head...."
homer: "but im soooo tasty......"
homers head is a giant doghnut & he's eating some while sitting at the breakfast table....
marge: "homey, stop pickin at your head...."
homer: "but im soooo tasty......"
Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
MMMM forbidden donut.nipsy wrote:dream scene...
homers head is a giant doghnut & he's eating some while sitting at the breakfast table....
marge: "homey, stop pickin at your head...."
homer: "but im soooo tasty......"
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
"Hi, Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"horacesqueeze wrote:Homer to the Smashing Pumpkins : Thanks to your bleak world view my children no longer expect a future I can't posibly afford (or something like that)
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely"
Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Most of these quotes are from the same episodes. SOOOO....
Which episode was your favorite?
Monorail?
Pretzel Lady?
Kang and Kodos Election Halloween Treehouse of Horror?
Beer Baron?
Scorpio?
Which episode was your favorite?
Monorail?
Pretzel Lady?
Kang and Kodos Election Halloween Treehouse of Horror?
Beer Baron?
Scorpio?
I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it and one is the feeling that I haven?t just been sitting on my ass all afternoon.
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
"Smithers! Release the robotic Richard Simmons."
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Re: Favorite Simpsons quote
Your forgeting ting my favorites...seeabove wrote:Most of these quotes are from the same episodes. SOOOO....
Which episode was your favorite?
Monorail?
Pretzel Lady?
Kang and Kodos Election Halloween Treehouse of Horror?
Beer Baron?
Scorpio?
the shinning
bart gets caugt steeling bonestorm
shelbyville steal the lemon tree
stone cutters
fbart and lisa flanders
and theres more, but that willdo. the best ones are usually about Bart, because he's so cool.
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