does this song need something else?

[Tucker_ma]

Hey,
I'm working on my first full length release. I did a first-cut mix down of the song below ("what you want") last night and I can't decide whether it needs some other sounds in there. I had been planning on adding in some shimmery electric guitar but now I'm not so sure; can't decide whether all the room in the song is a good thing. Any thoughts on the matter would be much appreciated.

http://soundcloud.com/thelowbredwatts/what_you_want_album_preview

Thanks much,
-Ryan
www.thelowbredwatts.com

[Nick Sevilla]

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The Song. Nothing else really matters.

[Tucker_ma]

Sorry, not sure what happened there, thanks for letting me know. Link is:
http://soundcloud.com/thelowbredwatts/what_you_want_album_preview

fixed above as well...

[Beefbud]

It could use some more enunciation

Just kidding! sort of, I like the voice but wouldn't mind being able to better understand what's being sung.

It's definitely a pretty bare song which sometimes can really work, but yeah I think the first half of the song could use some sort of dressing up. I like how it builds with the snare in the second half though.

[JamesHE]

I think there is a heartfelt melody in there somewhere, and possibly some interesting lyrics.

"when the tide rolls in I'll be hanging around your neck"

do I have that right?

I also like how it builds with that snare. although that may be because we are starved for something to happen by the time we get to it. (not necessarily a bad thing)

Overall I think this production stumbles a bit in the effort to do something cool or hip with sounds. Just sing it to me. I want the vocal a little cleaner I guess - in the beginning - but the distortion does work well at the end.

I'm listening to the demo version of the song you have up there...

Casio Sk1 - love it! - but the sounds on the album version are much much tastier. You are in the right direction - just trust your gut.

A bit of guitar might help give the song a little dynamic lift... a bit too relaxed at the moment.
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a spoon full weighs a ton

http://soundcloud.com/james-eure

[Tucker_ma]

thanks for those thoughtful comments. Ha, yeah, I'm a chronic mumbler and it definitely jumps out even more when i sing. But yup, JamesHE you got that lyric right.

I think I'm pretty happy with the vocals though. My tastes run along the john frusciante, early black keys, black lips, etc. line, and I can understand that's not for everyone. My equipment constraints definitely play a role in my ending up with the vocal distortion too, I'm recording on a cassette portastudio and I tend to record vocals really hot for tape distortion. I don't have any type of decent external preamp so clean vocals tend to come across as pretty dull and lifeless.

Thanks for the thoughts on the first half, I think I will try a few things to dress it up based on your feedback and make it more dynamic.... will try a little guitar...I've been recording a lot of ambient sounds lately, I may try bringing some of them in as well.