Silly client expressions

[drumsound]

My other favorite came recently while working with Caldo71. We tracked a bit of drums for the drummer to come in and hear the results. The drummer comes in and listens. He says, "I?d like you to do something with the bass drum." I said, "fine, what kind of sound are you looking for?" His answer: "I don?t really want to answer that."

What was your response to that?! That's nearly the dumbest thing I've ever heard, "I don't want to answer that." It's not like you were asking if he frequently pissed his bed as a child. What was the conclusion of that conversation

I let him move the mic. Then I swaped mics. Then I moved it...

[Devlars]

What a doofus. Have you worked with that drummer since?

[nacho459]

Umm, dare I even say, "more me in the headphones!" - Though I love it when they say I need only turn it up in their headphones when they are all plugged into the same box on the floor.

Speaking of "More Me" have any of you used the "More Me" headphones? http://www.itrstudio.com/moreme.html They RULE, well, for $20 they rule. I still give singers 7506s

[superluminalmagus]

Not really meaning to ressurect a dead topic but I had to say this one. This bugs me above all else for some reason.

Using the word "base" when they mean "bass."

Base guitar,
base Drum,
"Give me more base! C'mon man, I need more base!!!!"
"There's too much base in my voice!"

[joel hamilton]

" i have a quick overdub that will only take a second."

I always laugh, and say

" we have time..."

An hour later they are done. ALWAYS.

[rubykitty2000]

Not really meaning to ressurect a dead topic but I had to say this one. This bugs me above all else for some reason.

Using the word "base" when they mean "bass."

Base guitar,
base Drum,
"Give me more base! C'mon man, I need more base!!!!"
"There's too much base in my voice!"

Um...how can you even tell the difference?

[JGriffin]

Um...how can you even tell the difference?

It's the little balloons above their heads with the words in them that gives it away.

[A.L.]

Ummmmm... my great embarrassment is that I occaisionally accidentally pronounce "bass" like "bass" the fish, mainly because of the massive amount of fishing I did as a kid. I was practically fishing from the womb: I read b-a-s-s and think "bass", the fish, I can't help it.

But the reverse, well, oops. Gee, superluminalmagus, eh, er

[superluminalmagus]

Not really meaning to ressurect a dead topic but I had to say this one. This bugs me above all else for some reason.

Using the word "base" when they mean "bass."

Base guitar,
base Drum,
"Give me more base! C'mon man, I need more base!!!!"
"There's too much base in my voice!"

Um...how can you even tell the difference?

Actually, what prompted me to post that was I saw it online spelled that way, but I can picture some people, you know the type, saying it believing it to be spelled "base".

But largely, yeah, I can read minds like that balloon thing. I learned that when I lived in a Buddhist monastery a few years ago.

Cheers!

[Stephen]

The most dreaded for me personally is the "do you have that auto tune thingy"
even though I do have have it I usually react so badly that they never bring it up to me again. I hate the idea of siting around and correcting vocals, its like data entry or something...and it sounds soooooo bad..I hate it..learn to sing losers-
I might lose some gigs 'cuase of this but good ridence

*Hug* So there...
Pax, Steve

[twitchmonitor]

" i have a quick overdub that will only take a second."

I always laugh, and say

" we have time..."

An hour later they are done. ALWAYS.

Oh, yeah...that's the best.

"this mix will be quick...there's not much too it. It'll just take a couple of minutes."
"this tweak will only take a sec."
"Hey, we can bang out this percussion part in one pass, no problem" (takes especially long when it a non-drummer who playing tambourine or shaker or something....)
"Let's just give it one quick listen and then bounce/print it."

etc....

[RefD]

note: only my responses are mostly (but not all) pure fantasy.

artist/client: "i don't like my voice, can you make it sound more intense?"
me: "yes, stop whispering. no, your Radio Shack 'Realistic' bullhorn will not help."

or

artist/client (about to lay down the lead vocal): "i didn't really rehearse and i don't want to be here all day. do you have 'auto-tuner'?"
me: *seizure*

or

artist/client (angry and petulant): "my guitar sounds all thin and out of tune! what did you do to me!?"
me: "i let you run your $150 Telecaster copy through 9 Arion effects pedals connected with Hosa cables into your Peavey Rage amp. this is completely my fault and i do apologise most abjectly."

or

artist/client (apparently on speed and very impatient): "man, this song isn't loud enough!" *grabs control room fader and yanks it up to the top, blowing the NFMs*
me: *LART*
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