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bellulah
gettin' sounds
Joined: 08 Aug 2003
Posts: 119
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 Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 4:44 am Post subject: how to be not smooth |
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i work with this girl who reminds me SO MUCH of this girl i used to go out with. she phrases shit the same way, is built the same... it is just creepy. but telling her that would be uncouth and not smooth (a slant rhyme no less).
so i will stare at her and have uncouth thoughts all to myself.
(for a moment, to deflect certain sexual/maturbatory connotations of the last statement, the author almost deleted it altogether. but alas, in the end, decided that was what made it funny and subsequently left it.) |
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Mr. Dipity
carpal tunnel
Joined: 16 Jun 2003
Posts: 1528
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:33 am Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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| bellulah wrote: | i work with this girl who reminds me SO MUCH of this girl i used to go out with. she phrases shit the same way, is built the same... it is just creepy. but telling her that would be uncouth and not smooth (a slant rhyme no less).
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Sure, but to take this train of thought to it's logical conclusion: As long as you don't tell her, how hard could it be, now you know where all the buttons are?
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Rigsby
mixes from purgatory
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 2869
Location: London, England
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 8:20 am Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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| sserendipity wrote: | | bellulah wrote: | i work with this girl who reminds me SO MUCH of this girl i used to go out with. she phrases shit the same way, is built the same... it is just creepy. but telling her that would be uncouth and not smooth (a slant rhyme no less).
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Sure, but to take this train of thought to it's logical conclusion: As long as you don't tell her, how hard could it be, now you know where all the buttons are? |
Well she'd have to fancy him first, but i figure you were playing anyway.
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The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away. |
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marqueemoon
carpal tunnel
Joined: 08 May 2003
Posts: 1593
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:26 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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Umm... Why do you feel compelled to tell her she reminds you of your ex?
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I the prostitute, shall not hide...
But I was very much bothered with my work! |
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Rick Hunter
dead but not forgotten
Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 2022
Location: El Granada, Ca
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:43 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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"yeah, you totally remind me of this girl I used to date. But then I dumped her ass. Wanna get some coffee?"
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www.accelamusic.com |
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jamoo
buyin' a studio
Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Posts: 855
Location: sun children awake
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 8:01 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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Good thing you checked yourself. They really don't want to hear it.
I know this because saying something is the dumb kind of thing I would do, whether I cared about the result or not. |
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apropos of nothing
dead but not forgotten
Joined: 13 May 2003
Posts: 2101
Location: Hillsborough, NC
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trodden
on a wing and a prayer
Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 5106
Location: C-attle
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Rick Hunter
dead but not forgotten
Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 2022
Location: El Granada, Ca
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:52 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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| trodden wrote: | | Rick Hunter wrote: | | "yeah, you totally remind me of this girl I used to date. But then I dumped her ass. Wanna get some coffee?" |
then follow it up with..
"Wanna get some pizza and fuck?"
"what, you don't like pizza?" |
HA. Man. All chicks love pizza. Sheesh.
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www.accelamusic.com |
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Bad Halen
gettin' sounds
Joined: 30 May 2003
Posts: 129
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:16 am Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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no, no, no.......
THIS is what you do:
Say, "Man, you remind of this girl I used to know. The only difference is that she was SOOO stuck up and you seem pretty cool."
When your walking into the doorway of her bedroom.......you know who to thank.  |
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lastpicked4kickball
alignin' 24-trk
Joined: 29 Dec 2004
Posts: 74
Location: Seattle area
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:11 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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Try this one:
Nice shoes wanna fuck?
Or:
You have the most beautiful ankles! Can I stick my dick in your butt?
Works like a charm. I get slapped 9 out of 10, but that tenth one is magic, pure magic!
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Just trying to get through life without looking stupid! Not workin' out so far for me... |
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djdrake13
suffering 'studio suck'
Joined: 20 Jul 2004
Posts: 454
Location: Windham, NH
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:03 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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Don't listen to the losers. I once met a girl who was identical to my Ex. I told her. 1 hour later she's suckin me off. Just go with Spotty's advice and say that she's cooler than you EX. If it worked for me.. it'll work for you. And its an easy way to let her know you are attracted to her.
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Shut up and Strip Productions
"Always Hiring" |
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jamoo
buyin' a studio
Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Posts: 855
Location: sun children awake
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| Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 7:16 am Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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| djdrake13: if you pay the girl, you don't have to flirt with her. |
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lastpicked4kickball
alignin' 24-trk
Joined: 29 Dec 2004
Posts: 74
Location: Seattle area
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| Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 2:30 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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sonichue, that's not entirely true, but then again some of my friends are down like that. You know save a hooke, date her or something of that kind of nature.
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Just trying to get through life without looking stupid! Not workin' out so far for me... |
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MichaelAlan
tinnitus
Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Posts: 1120
Location: Passing under Sleep's dark and silent gate
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| Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 2:40 pm Post subject: Re: how to be not smooth |
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| lastpicked4kickball wrote: | Try this one:
Nice shoes wanna fuck?
Or:
You have the most beautiful ankles! Can I stick my dick in your butt?
Works like a charm. I get slapped 9 out of 10, but that tenth one is magic, pure magic! |
No the tenth one is drunk, pure drunk. And hairy. And possibly a man.
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All energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet... |
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