A Domestic View b/w The Rock Wife Wonders...

Hiver · Post by **Hiver** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:09 am

Hi,

I was wondering how other people on this forum deal with domestic issues that you may have faced being engineers / studio owners.

I am the wife of a engineer / producer, and along with my husband own a successful recording studio here in Vancouver.

There are a few things I?ve learned as the wife of a busy engineer, which seemed to compound once we became studio owners.

It seems to me:

1. You must master the art of juggling finances. Quick.
2. If you own your studio, you probably rent your house.
3. You can go all night long with your session or your spouse. Not both.
4. When it comes to justifying gear purchases, there?s always a way.

Don?t get me wrong ? I?m not an angry, resentful ?rock widow?. I enjoy the business just as much as my husband, but I wonder:

- Do you feel you still have enough time for the rest of your life? I.e. family, hobbies, or rest?

- How do you make time for your kids when you?re either out of town recording for weeks or in town working 12 hour days?

- What happens when an important gig happens during an important personal event? (birthdays / anniversaries)

- Do any of you bring your children to your sessions or involve your family in the business?

We don?t have children just yet, because the studio is and has been the baby for so long. To be honest I'm not sure which would be harder to take care of.

So I guess the big question is - do any of you think (or know) it?s possible to maintain a relationship, have children, maybe own a house and get enough sleep now and then without sacrificing your career?

- Mrs.S

Post by **TapeOpLarry** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:40 am

1. I juggle finances daily. Having two jobs helps!
2. I own my house but rent the studio space.
3. I make my 10 hours long or less. Girlfriend tries to stay up late.
4. I only buy what I really need to work better.

A. I make enough time for things I really want to do. Having the magazine as backup income (re: not enough to live on) and hosting freelance engineers in my studio gives me time. I have no hobbies outside of music (maybe film and books). Rest is debateable.
B. I have no kids and have taken steps to insure that won't happen.
C. It's called boundaries. I block out my calendar and just say no.
D. My girlfriend is moving in soon and will be helping out some with both mag and studio.
E. It's important to realize that there is no goal at the end of the career. When do we "make it?" I don't know and have decided I don't care. If I make enough to live on and the stuff coming out of my studio sounds good I am happy. No reason to work every day as far as I can see.

And grab freelancers any chance you get...

cgarges · Post by **cgarges** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:21 am

TapeOpLarry wrote:It's called boundaries. I block out my calendar and just say no.

I don't see why more people don't so this. I've never had a problem doing this. I just tell people I'm booked. Now, I can't do this all the time, because I wouldn't have any income, but if I've got a good string of work and realize that I won't get to spend much time with my girlfriend (who's completely awesome about my life, by the way), I will take a weekend and not book anything so that we can go out of town or something. It's not like anybody needs to know that you're blowing them off for personal time. Even so, they should be understanding. But it's simple enough to just say, "No, I'm booked that weekend, how about the next?" or the next available or whatever. I would say that I just did something like that, but I don't want any of my clients who might be reading this to know about it.

Oh crap, did I just say that out loud?

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC

soundguy · Post by **soundguy** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:31 am

I cant believe what I just turned down because I promised the world Id take of thanksgiving week.

ugh.

the best way Ive found with dealing with relationships is finding someone with a complimentary schedule and mindset. Ive never dated someone with a 9-5 deal and had it work for more than a few hours.

dave

mjau · Post by **mjau** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:00 pm

cgarges wrote:It's not like anybody needs to know that you're blowing them off for personal time. Even so, they should be understanding. But it's simple enough to just say, "No, I'm booked that weekend, how about the next?" or the next available or whatever. I would say that I just did something like that, but I don't want any of my clients who might be reading this to know about it.

Oh crap, did I just say that out loud?

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC

Personally, I'd rather have a well-rested and well-adjusted engineer in the studio with me than someone who has been going full-tilt for far too long.

r0ck1r0ck2 · Post by **r0ck1r0ck2** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:13 pm

the kid will be waaayyy more work....
studios don't need diapers....
tho they do shit once in a while...
still tho' if you get a kid you can use it to do menial tasks at the studio after a few years....
dish washing and such....
sorry.....

digital eagle audio · Post by **digital eagle audio** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:39 pm

two of the engineers at my studio are married (not to one another). they tend to go home on their dinner breaks, or have their wives pop in and shit like that. one of them just had a kid, and so he took over as office manager in addition to his engineering shit. basically, he just draws the line at certain points and says, "i've got to go help my wife with the baby now."

cgarges · Post by **cgarges** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:43 pm

mjau wrote:Personally, I'd rather have a well-rested and well-adjusted engineer in the studio with me than someone who has been going full-tilt for far too long.

If only all my clients were as sensible as you...

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC

chris harris · Post by **chris harris** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 2:45 pm

TapeOpLarry wrote:E. It's important to realize that there is no goal at the end of the career. When do we "make it?"

I'll feel like I've "made it" when I get somewhere close to where you are now. just substitue your "side job" at the magazine with my "side job" playing gigs every couple of weekends.
I've met you and know that you're not rich. But, you're also a fantastic example of someone who is doing what they love and still maintaining a somewhat normal life and some sanity.
I've already got one of the most understanding and supportive spouses in the world. And, good clients are creeping in more and more frequently all the time.

joelpatterson · Post by **joelpatterson** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:51 am

Running my own studio is such a dream-come-true, I don't sweat the small stuff like divorces or bitter, neglected friends/family.

Seriously, though, it's up to you to set your priorities, like it would be with any career. This is a dream job, but in this world of yin and yang, there's always some kind of nightmare close at hand.

mjau · Post by **mjau** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:44 am

cgarges wrote:
mjau wrote:Personally, I'd rather have a well-rested and well-adjusted engineer in the studio with me than someone who has been going full-tilt for far too long.
If only all my clients were as sensible as you...

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC

I speak from experience. I had an engineer lose it in the studio once and just keep mumbling to himself "I used to play with Eddie and the Cruisers. I used to play with Eddie and the Cruisers. I used to..."etc, etc, etc.
Then he put up his salsa rock project, threw all the faders up, and sat there with a blank stare.
Seriously, this happened.
Seek time away, people. It's for the best.

Post by **TapeOpLarry** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:21 pm

"I've met you and know that you're not rich. But, you're also a fantastic example of someone who is doing what they love and still maintaining a somewhat normal life and some sanity."

How do you know about my sanity? And there's few pretenses of a "normal life" around me.

I've been through 2 marriages and divorces since opening a studio. Dated several other people. The choice not to have kids was made before owning a studio. I've been in debt so far at times that the stress was killing me. Other times I've done okay and paid off some debt.

What I do love is that every day is different when I wake up in the morning!

joelpatterson · Post by **joelpatterson** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 5:36 pm

TapeOpLarry wrote:.

What I do love is that every day is different when I wake up in the morning!

I know well what you mean... captain of your fate, master of your soul.

Even better when I can sleep until early afternoon.

alissa · Post by **alissa** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 12:21 pm

i am 34. so i guess you could say my biological clock is ticking. i can't really hear it with these super 31's in though. i honestly don't see how barring some major unexpected windfall, it would be possible.

but you know, maybe i could hear the answer better if i took these plugs out.

joelpatterson · Post by **joelpatterson** » Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:28 pm

alissa wrote:maybe i could hear the answer better if i took these plugs out.

Nah, leave 'em in, it makes your look sexy.

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A Domestic View b/w The Rock Wife Wonders...

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