Your parents... encouraged you? Or not?

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joelpatterson
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Your parents... encouraged you? Or not?

Post by joelpatterson » Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:55 pm

You take your teenager in a band--rebellious, right? Isn't the whole heart of rock and roll in the defiance of authority?

So why does it seem like some kind of anomaly that all of the kids I record have parents who schlepp to get the gear to and from gigs, tirelessly and energetically promote them? I kind of marvel at it-- in this family, this whole loud-deafening-music-and-light-show it totally okay with them. They're proud.

And your story?
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JGriffin
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Post by JGriffin » Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:02 pm

Oddly, I was just talking to a fellow musician about this. He said he'd never met a muso whose folks were against the music thing. I have, but only a very few.

My parents have always been incredibly supportive. Thirty years on, they still come to as many of my performances as they can get to. My dad used to make me practice when I didn't want to, as opposed to telling me to turn it down. My brothers and I have held band practices in my folks' basement regularly since 1983. My dad plays bass now and the whole family jams from time to time, though not as often as he or I would like.

I have more problems with friends' wives wishing they'd stop all this foolishness than I ever had with the same guys' parents. how fucked up is that?
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trodden
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Post by trodden » Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:03 am

my mom started me playing the piano in second grade. that was hell due to her own frustrations... but led on to playing the trumpet and then the guitar. They offered no support in my teen years, worked very hard to stifle anything band/rock/metal/punk related, completely ignored the idea of the bands i played in, the shows i promoted, the tours i booked, the records i put out, the studio work.. kinda sucked. an uphill battle for like 12 years. finally they wised up and realized that it wasn't a phase. and that they were to blame as much as the records they kept taking away from me for my "disdain" They came and watched my sisters' band open for us while we were on a self supported us tour (i had moved out of state by then) and were completely floored by our set and my sister's set. they opened their eyes a bit after that. It was an amazing night. The best night i had on the whole tour. I love my parents, but fuck, made it really fucking difficult sometimes.

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Electro-Voice 664
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Post by Electro-Voice 664 » Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:41 am

Yeah its pretty cool that peoples parents get behind their kids rock and roll dreams. Some of bands I record have parents who are roadie slaves and they pay the bill. My parents used to allow my band to practice for hours on end in their basement. How cool! Now I am a father, and I want to expose my kids to music, and recording but I'm feeling like they may rebel if I make it seem too acceptable. Having a copy of 'Blood Guts and Pussy' on the turn-table should help. Or send me to jail :D
Last edited by Electro-Voice 664 on Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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trodden
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Post by trodden » Fri Dec 16, 2005 10:09 am

wintershed wrote:Yeah its pretty cool that peoples parent get behind their kids rock and roll dreams. Some of bands I record have parents who are roadie slaves and they pay the bill. My parents used to allow my band to practice for hours on end in their basement. How cool! Now I am a father, and I want to expose my kids to music, and recording but I'm feeling like they may rebel if I make it seem too acceptable. Having a copy of 'Blood Guts and Pussy' on the turn-table should help. Or send me to jail :D
fuck, my parents took my copy of blood guts and pussy so many times...

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digital eagle audio
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Post by digital eagle audio » Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:47 pm

i've been feeling out the whole thing. i thought they'd hate it since it's not exactly stable, but i think they are realizing that i love it, and i am willing to devote to it, and am kinda good at it, so there's a chance they'll be cool. probably not cool enough to pay for recording school, but cool.

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Post by JohnDavisNYC » Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:24 pm

my parents have always totally rocked about this stuff. mostly because they are kinda ex-hippy types.... mom is a singer and dad plays guitar and is a teacher of poetry and creative writing... there was no pressure for me to do anything other than what i loved, mainly because i have always been extremely motivated and proactive... playing bass has been a serious professional activity for me since i was 13 years old. they also are extremely supportive of the whole recording thing, although they dont really understand it as much, as neither of them are technically minded. they:ve always been super cool and supportive.

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Post by Knights Who Say Neve » Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:42 pm

I had no support whatsoever from my father. He would make fun of my singing voice, my guitar playing, whatever, and just basically try to undermine my confidence. ("You'll never make a living doing that" was one of his favorites). I'm in my 30s and he's in 70s now but his attitude has never really changed. He won't say anything directly against it but it's clear that he neither understands nor approves. But it's my life's work, so what can I do? I guess he'll just have to disapprove. 8)
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AnalogElectric
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Post by AnalogElectric » Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:57 pm

My parents and family supported me without boundaries.

My mom and dad caught me at shows many times, it didn't matter if I was in (my mom's words) "a devil-scream band" or a "much better than a devil-scream band".

They support me 100%..... well, if I were to REALLY talk to them it would probably be around 40%. I have really supportive parents no matter what anyways. They've had the ethic that "if I'm happy and I can pay my bills, then so-be-it" sorta thing, even to this day.

My dad doesn't understand it but I'll give him much credit when I started my own recording studio back in 1997, he investigated everything and anything he could about the business. As far as Mom goes, she is my compass, kinda flighty, devil-may-care attitude.

My parents have no ear for music. My extended family does, to a certain degree. I have some extended family that were exceptional musicians (playing multiple instruments up till they graduated college). Right now I'm the oldest of the family that is still within the music community..... so far.

I come from where I come from and others come from where they do and that's what makes us all the people we are today. Sure, we all want acceptance based on the choices we make as individuals, and I think any criticisms from family or even praise is more reason for us as artists to believe / disbelieve in both ourselves and/or family but will give ourselves the insight as to why we do it in the first place.

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alissa
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Post by alissa » Sat Dec 17, 2005 11:13 pm

kinda.

my mom was really supportive when i was a kid. but she wouldn't let me play guitar. she took me to my first piano lesson when i was really young. i don't remember how old i was, but i remember that i was really small and my hands were too small to play. so the teacher told me she should bring me back after i grew some more. she used to make me practice piano and violin for 30 minutes each every day. and she would time it.

but she is very upset still that i got fired from being a scientist and still sends me job postings very frequently hoping that i'll go back. while i think my dad has kinda accepted it.
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surf's up
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Post by surf's up » Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:41 am

I think when I first started getting into the recording thing, they thought it was just another one of those hobbies ill grow out of. my mom put up with a lot, letting me use part of the house as a studio, which meant having smelly, rude bands come in at times. I think my parents appreciate that I have legitimate goals in music and that it's what Id enjoy more than any other field. My father even asked me to engineer his accordion CD. I would say theyve been very supportive.

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Post by aintnosunshine » Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:05 pm

I had zero support from my parents in terms of any carreer path I was interested. It was always 'you should become a doctor, engineer, or lawyer', etc... The only thing music wise that I can say good about my parents is that my mom forced me to take piano lessons at a young age, and my father bought me a guitar for my 13th birthday. It was strange though... they would get on to me if I didn't practice, but would REALLY get onto me if I practiced 'too much'. They basicaly told me "its ok as a hobby".

My sister wanted to be a musician and my father gave her hell for it. He would constantly push that 'its ok as a hobby' shit. She played clarinet, and despite being a freshman, she was a first chair clarinet at a large university beating out all but 1 senior and other upper classmen. My father literally forced her to quit taking music classes in college and made her switch to engineering. As far as I know, she is miserable these days... she has an EE degree, no longer plays music, does not work, and sits at home all day while her husband works.

Anyway, I'm trying to make it now, without their support. Or anyone else's for that matter... when it really comes down to it, if you don't believe in yourself, nobody will... and I BELIEVE. ;)

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Post by ctmsound » Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:02 pm

My parents helped me pay for the majority of my education and my father is helping me fund my recording business. I am forever grateful!

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Brian
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Post by Brian » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:37 pm

Never. They undermined me at every opportunity. Totally against it. I can't even say the word music without stuttering and I don't stutter.
I'm not doing that to my kids.
That's why peoples parents schlepp gear to gigs.
Harumph!

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Post by AstroDan » Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:15 pm

You got fired from being a scientist? Solid.

My Grandma raised me and would've given her own blood to get me a set of Ernie Ball Slinkies if I needed them. Unconditional, no questions asked support. When I finally learned how to play however, I went through a mental decrepedation period where I thought she had nurtured my talents and forged my leanings on becoming a successful entertainer for nothing more than her own personal gain. Now that I have cooled my jets and diminshed all those opportunities that seem to get handed to you when you're young, I, in melancholic retrospect, have realized that to be untrue and that nobody really cares. Nobody.

But yes, much support from home.

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