Tape Op - Tape Log: How to Feel Miserable as an Artist......

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timcoalman
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Tape Op - Tape Log: How to Feel Miserable as an Artist......

Post by timcoalman » Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:20 pm

From Tape Log of November 3rd
http://www.tapeop.com/blog/2011/11/04/h ... le-artist/

Reminded me of a similar listing I did for unmanned probe part of my website - part 4 "advice" (copied in below)

http://www.timcoalman.com/unmanned_probe_contents.html

What is like to do what you do?
What advice or suggestions do you have for others?
What process do you use to make your pieces?
Why don?t you do more?

7/2002
To those coming, ways I?ve gone, done and wasted by...

Thinking about artifacts: styles (yours vs. others); growth in your efforts, techniques, knowledge, craft, ?authenticity? (including lack of); how worthless it all is and then going through and finding representative samples of deficiencies; telling yourself ?it could be beautiful? in such earnest and private ways that you feel like a child embarrassingly smitten with the rain; visiting supply stores and looking at ?professional? tools of which you are at a loss to identify or use (while there, buy discounted supplies you use now that are labeled with inspiring phrases as: ?for beginners,? ?basics,? ?easy,? and ?kid-friendly?); learning about ?artists,? usually on television programs with commercial interruptions; categorization (cross-referencing available) of those: who were masters of the established; who reinvented, reinvigorated, redefined, raised the bar, reformed the established; who mastered various styles, approaches, genres, schools of the established and created some new hodgepodge; who were imitators, thieves, manipulators, popularity seekers; who had something wholly original; who touted snores of obscenity; who sold out; who made it; who lost it; who pandered; who are outside the established; who are forgotten; who you never want to be; who had it but everything else about their life is as mundane as everyone else?s; who lived lives that were it and everything they did was some piece; who are seen as it by no one but you; who have a perfect moment in their life (a few words, a scene, an action, a note, a drop of insight, paint, relationship, a doodle, or such); who everyone with little or no tangible artifacts in their life knows of and refers to at any mention of art to give some indication they are ?learned? or ?read? in such important ways of life.

Talking about artifacts: with artists (comparisons are lively and take time); with non-artists, impressing them by mentioning plans, undeveloped ideas, endeavors just started, and other noise that is always easier to speak of than to begin, sustain, or finish (and admonishing oneself that feeling creative in thoughts, conversation, and actions is generally, in the moment, wasted on those who feel nothing but the leeching benefit of allowing you to fill them with all that they squandered, undernourished, disregarded, or never allowed to live and unless documented, recorded, or preserved then wonderful only for maintaining the temperature and humidity of your skull).

Sharing artifacts with others, who will: glance at an illustration that took weeks or months to render; as a ?courtesy,? give a cursory read of writing that has years of effort trailing the current version, one that will continue to be revised with no discernible end imaginable; understand it through the maw of popular culture based synaptic formation (especially television and film, though commercial radio and general interest news/people magazines are fringe fodder) leaving them with udder-ings of ?neat,? ?cool,? ?hmm?; use it as a mirror unto themselves; have no ability to evaluate without a popularity or monetary scale/signifier to inform them how good it really is or a feeling that the piece is similar to, supports, fits, and continues that with which they understand, agree, enjoy, expect; be unable to understand ?work in progress? ? the smallest error, line deviation, verbal gristle, or stray note a sign that all is likewise amateur, unworthy, and embarrassing.

Working out unrealistic, useless, and far removed details of future success: autographs, interviews, sketches, music venues, store appearances, television spots, promotion, panel discussion; the mistake of selling originals; the awkward interaction of a fan?s expectations, formed from your artifacts, compared to actually meeting you; decide whom you would collaborate with, fearing those who saved you will all die before you?ve anything to send them with regards or beckoning propositions; create a presumptuous list of questions and answer each.

Work hard on: a studio that meets every need, has all supplies at hand (equipment, technology, and cost no issue), and spaces for various mediums (an illustrator?s table, painting canvas on floor, recorders primed with power, microphones, and blank tape, instruments, a loaded camera, and various typewriters, pens, tablets, notebooks, and computers for writing), and remember this place because you will invariably be somewhere else when the moment hits, leaving you to scribble it out on the fast food receipt with a pen that only writes on the upstroke of your cramped printed letters; having free reign creative time though moments come 10 minutes until work, driving, eating, defecating, sleeping, and need to be documented on the fly for later revision, addition, and fertilization; projecting the ?artist? image, tasting vomit when intersecting with another on this projection; memorizing names, techniques, schools, lineage, movements, styles.

For artifacts completed: play with fonts, layouts, format, order of pages, or headings (legal and informational); enjoy viewing, listening to, and handling (artistic masturbation); criticize (self-defeatism/defamation); revise, edit, change, collage, delete, redo, or other hen-fuss (treading water); organize and clean storage space; destroy it all ? and here some progress or accomplishment tangible compared to what currently burns.

Implementing and obsessing over preservation methods: ask parents to buy Fireproof safe (with dimensions that demand all material be no larger than a manila file folder) to store printed writing, original composition notebooks, photographic negatives, prints, and computer backup CD-RWs (noting warning stickers stating the safe is not for photographic negatives, prints, and computer backup CD-RWs or other such storage mediums ? the heat from a fire will destroy these regardless. Also, note secondary warning stickers stating the safe is not waterproof ? the firefighters and their hoses pouring water into the burning house to save such valuables will ruin instead by submersion in water and fire retardant foam); buy portfolios in which the clear protective cover sheet picks up (though guaranteed not to do so) charcoal and pencil from an illustration and transfers it to other places on the illustration (to clean white areas you worked to leave pristine and contrasting) ? blurring and smudging; find the portfolio pages will not fit into fire-proof safe (experiment with cutting pages to fit, though in a fire the heat would migrate through the fire-proof safe and excessively warm the plastic and all illustrations effectively laminated ? wavy viewing), the portfolio pages must be stored upright or the rings come undone, pages slide out, and the illustrations come free out the opening in the page; discover the cat sprays the chair next to the safe storage space found for the portfolio so the cats would not sleep on the portfolio (rubbing the pages together and transferring ink and pencil) ? over-spray has spackled the folder; use computer back-up CD-RWs, update after major changes or additions and every few weeks, convince yourself your best work would be lost in the interim, lock one copy in fire-proof safe and carry another in shoulder pack, plan on digitizing everything and storing it all on such disks ? though computer monitors burn your eyes, resolution is lost, and the feeling is a degrading of the energy infused into the original.

Accepting that you?re lacking: time, supplies, craft, experience, direction, and energy; proper exposure to great artists (abandoning your artifacts to go take in a classic, director?s cut, letterboxed, foreign, art, documentary movie or read a(n) (auto)biography; ?unique artistic vision,? flailing about inside in the search, providing yourself some illumination through a well aimed bullet hole.

Envisioning what a true artist you will be by not (note future tense): moving your artifacts to a different medium to exploit possible commercial value (merchandizing and licensing pursuits inclusive); diluting artifacts for quantitative gains; changing elements; hurrying; accepting editor/peer input.

Taking on squandering activities: plan disposal of human body at a moments notice, if need be; alternate between updating and accomplishing all items on ?To Do?? list; have a family, pet, hobby, or leisure time; masturbate, conjuring up vivid nuances of elaborate sexual fantasies or borrow from available extensive pirated pornographic videotape collection.

Seeking employment in a: day/night/part-time/weekend/dead end/freelance/office/minimum wage job or one where you may direct, distort, or bend efforts (as little as possible is best) so that you are paid for a slightly (or vastly) different use of what would otherwise be (you suspect) mountains of artifacts - of course, in the downtime (when job is unavailable or after hours) you will find all the other listed items a buffet of waste.

Burnt Ernie
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Post by Burnt Ernie » Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:36 pm

Wow. All's ya need is a 16 foot bullwhip and an avid punisher.
Do it or don't. Decide RIGHT NOW.
Be solution or be problem.
Skip all the wordy shite and write a song,perhaps?
The sun'll come out tomorrow,in spite of the pouting and overthought.
Music steers human sanity,grab the wheel.
Seize the day. I love you.
I am the Walnut

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timcoalman
gettin' sounds
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Post by timcoalman » Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:03 pm

agreed - liberating to move beyond those mindsets - earnestly written now almost 10 years ago.

making this artifact log helped tremendously: http://timcoalman.blogspot.com/

"an accounting and expectant listing of self-imposed demand that each passing day have a moment of artifact: 1) identification, 2) creation, 3) community, or 4) housekeeping. these artifacts include: a) correspondence, b) ...fence posts rotting in the acreage..., c) book soundtrack, d) stray notebook entries, e) sound engineer, and f) artifact collection."

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