I'm gonna record the destruction of a piano. Suggestions?

[wren]

So, long story short: my mom has stored an old upright piano for a friend for many years. This piano has a cracked soundboard, or something - can't be fixed and won't hold a tune worth anything. It's gotten so bad over time that now, even right after being tuned, there are a couple keys that sound a minor second rather than a unison. So: it's totally unplayable and has basically been a piece of furniture for years, but it has to go, and the friend has nowhere to put it. And nobody wants to move it.

Which is where I come in: I volunteered to take care of it if I get to destroy it and record the process. And I'm not gonna just go at it with an axe or a sledgehammer: I'm gonna spend a day doing it. It's gonna be great, and I'm psyched. I'll be able to use the strings for stuff, my mom's partner is a carpenter and wants the wood, the person who actually owns the piano wants a couple pieces of the wood for shelves, and I've got a couple artist friends who have dibs on the keys and stuff - it's gonna get thoroughly recycled.

So, if you were doing this: how would you record it? And what would your approach to destroying the piano be? I know what I'm planning on doing as of now, but I would love some other input too. (And bonus points for people with advice about recording the process in quad {or quad-ish}, which is what I'm planning on doing.)

[drumsound]

I'd have omin mics in a few places in the room. Also default to lower gain settings so when something gets loud it doesn't crap put your converters. A cheap piezo pick up or two might be interesting as well.

[jhharvest]

First of all, be very careful.

As for musicians involved in piano destruction pieces, Karl-Erik Welin (1934 ? 1992) was a Swedish composer, pianist and organist who seemed to have a love-hate relationship with the piano and appeared to be drawn to music that allowed for his flair for drama. His chamber piece titled Esservecchia written in 1963 required a pianist to deliver several strong fist blows to the piano?s keys and strings. In 1964 whilst performing a piece by Theodore Liber titled Rendez-vous 1963, he threw himself into destroying the piano using a chainsaw with such fervour, he injured himself and had to be taken to hospital. Rumours were abound that he almost cut off his legs although eye witnesses have described how his inexperience at handling a chainsaw caused the tool to bounce haphazardly across the keys.
http://www.scrapclub.co.uk/texts/piano-destruction-text

My suggestion is if you can manage to drop it somehow, even just a few inches, that would be very worthwhile recording.

[Scodiddly]

Definitely a contact mic of some sort.

And disable the dampers first.

You could take off all the outside stuff and fool around with using the strings and harp as a reverb plate.

[Scodiddly]

In fact, if I was in your position I'd save the intact harp w/ strings as a wall decoration. Seriously. It'll be a lot lighter with the case and action removed.

[vvv]

Use a video camera.

[dfuruta]

i burned a piano once. looked lovely, but didn't sound like much. it was strangely poignant.

be very careful about snapping strings - there's a lot of tension on some of them.

[wren]

Yeah, any cutting of strings would be done after the string is already really loose - I've been cut by snapping guitar strings before and I can only assume that a piano's strings are more dangerous.

Excellent advice on disabling the dampers very early in the process - that's exactly the kind of idea I hadn't thought of that I was hoping for.

I actually don't have any contact mics (gasp!) but I do have a Crown PZM I was going to use for essentially the same purpose.

And I was planning on bringing some speakers and headphones to play sound at the harp to use it as a reverb unit of some sort (a pair of headphones or two would offer more wet vs dry signal but might not be powerful enough to really get the harp vibrating enough).

I honestly hadn't thought to video it. I'll think about it, but I'd almost rather just have the aural result...I don't think it's going to look very interesting as I'm not really going to end up being terribly violent toward the piano.

And I'll think about leaving the harp intact - I actually hadn't thought about that at all. That'll probably depend a lot on how heavy it is, how cool it looks, and if I think I can find a practical use for it in the future besides just being an awesome thing to have.

[dfuruta]

The harp is the heaviest chunk of the piano. It'll be significantly lighter without the wood, of course, but it's still going to be hefty.

[Scodiddly]

Strings snapping in a burning piano is myth - in fact, Mythbusters did a segment on it.

[Scodiddly]

And I was planning on bringing some speakers and headphones to play sound at the harp to use it as a reverb unit of some sort (a pair of headphones or two would offer more wet vs dry signal but might not be powerful enough to really get the harp vibrating enough).

Just thinking out loud here... maybe take a small speaker, no box just the driver. Make the cone heavier by loading it up with caulk or something, then stick the magnet to the piano harp. Every reaction == equal and opposite reaction, so if the cone is heavy then the magnet will start moving a lot more.

Maybe hang the whole thing from the ceiling somehow, to let it vibrate more freely.

[dfuruta]

Strings snapping in a burning piano is myth - in fact, Mythbusters did a segment on it.

Yes, the strings didn't snap when I burned that one either - I meant, be careful about snapping strings when working inside the piano with cutters/saws, as I assume wren is going to do.

[The Real MC]

Strings do snap. When I was growing up one of the strings broke on the piano.

A piano harp with tuned strings has 20 tons of tension on it. I wouldn't want to be around when the force is unleashed if the harp is compromised.

[Snarl 12/8]

Even sans violence, timelapse video would be cool.

[WilH]

I reckon beating the thing to death would sound more satisfying than just burning it. Pound it all night etc