Steve buscemi \ wesley willis\ jerry stiller reincarnate

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ataraxia
takin' a dinner break
Posts: 178
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 8:55 pm
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Steve buscemi \ wesley willis\ jerry stiller reincarnate

Post by ataraxia » Tue Aug 24, 2004 12:38 pm

It finally happened. I found and signed THE Rock God.

We are looking for a band or individual performers (skin flute, hambone,kazoo and screaming washboard) to put behind this artist. The artist plays guitar (like elvis, king of guitar) but in almost all songs will be front man/vocalist for the band for he is awesomely hottt!

If esoteric rhetoric lyrics wrapped in dynamically composed and driven rock n roll (think shaggs meet captain beefheart if he had only one arm)is your thing and you are a pro between 18 and 30 with a big wang, with dynamic looks then you should respond to this ad, (p.s we need at least one minority to be hip!, so latinos and afro-americans please apply, this may be your chance).

This is ROCK n ROLL classic to alternative to gospel sung buy your local chapter of people with brain injuries.

The band (or individuals applying) MUST:

Be 18 to 30 years old.

Have unique image, all scarred indivuduals welcomed.

Have the stage moves (pelvic thrusts).

A big wang.

Women need not apply.

Have pro experience/credits or give great headand an ass like a twelve your old boy.

READ ==>Have NO: drug (heroin, lsd, excluded), ego (save if for the reincarnate), attitude, transportation (must have valid bus pass), punctuality, or personal PROBLEMS.

Be willing and able to (a) rehearse on a heavy schedule, (b) perform on a heavy schedule, (c) tour internationally, (d) sign contracts. (e) be a wanker, (f) have parent'ss permission

This is a six-month development to the top, with industry backing that will entail:

Rehearsing two sets in short order. (30-45 days)
Signing Band Contracts (when the artist ok?s it)
Performing 20 gigs locally. (Los Angeles)
Recording an Album in a Class-A environment with platinum credited staff.
International tour within 6 months.
And when the albulm is a flop do to it's horrendous promotion you will be a shame to your family, and will proboably lose all credibility you ever worked for.
Holding your dog/cat/bird/turtle (but not ferrets or snakes) hostage untill you complete the contract.

if this sounds right for you. You may soon be in our industry of slum and scum that will one day eliminate itself with it's own parodies.

j_howell
pushin' record
Posts: 276
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:38 pm
Location: Kansas City

Re: Steve buscemi \ wesley willis\ jerry stiller reincarnate

Post by j_howell » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:35 pm

Have you tried walking down Mass street in Lawrence, Kansas lately? There are plenty of fucking wankers that would be an EXACT FIT for just such a venture.
I like pie.

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