how much do the acoustics of a room actually help?

[jajjguy]

I would like to remove the dropped ceiling tiles, get rid of the flourescent lights, and add some type of insulation to the wooden floor joists so that anyone upstairs wont hear too much sound (something that a future wife would probably appreciate

These are good things to do for the acoustics of your music room, but the insulation won't help block sound transmission to upstairs. You'd need to hang a wallboard ceiling for that, which i don't much recommend - it'd steal height from the basement, and give you sound reflections you don't want.

Do the requirements for a good music listening room, and a recording area for your own music share alot of common, and are they significantly different such that the basement would have to be divided into a separate area for the hi fi music listening, and another area for recording?

They are exactly the same. This is because the most important thing you can do for recording is make a good mix position, where you can accurately hear your recordings. The only reason to split up the basement is if you want a separate control room and live room. If you'll mainly be working alone, this isn't necessary.