Going on tour for a month. Tips...?

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madtho
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Post by madtho » Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:52 am

I've never toured with a band.

I did, however, travel with circuses for a number of years. The things mentioned already are spot on in any traveling/performing scenario: AAA, insurance. and make sure someone knows where you are, like send an email to a reliable party at home telling them where the house you're crashing at is. Sounds paranoid, but it is. still, do it.

Most importantly, all the body care stuff, though it seems a little silly and mothering:
- drink TONS of water, even if there's alot of miles ahead
- keep yourself clean-it's a dirty world, wash your hands
(now my personal favorite)
- take care of your digestive tract, top to bottom :D. The water helps a ton, you might want to try metamucil or psyllium husks, it'll get you off the pot faster and cleaner, and get some witch hazel pads to clean your nasty sit-down all f-ing day ass. Your diet's going to suck almost definitely, so easing your body's burden will let you rock harder.

-mad
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xonlocust
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Post by xonlocust » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:16 pm

chuckfurok wrote:Also try to keep xonlocust from jumping up and down on your van and cracking the windshield while you are trying to pass out in the van.


I f'n love touring!
ha - the good old days! i read that and for a second was like, what? then i remembered it..... oh yeahhhh!

i thought of a couple more - also whenever you cross the state border, stop at the rest area and grab one of those booklets that has hotel deals. they only have these at the rest areas immediately entering a state. this way you can get deals and have someone researching the hotel situation while you're still 45 min outside of the venue and it can be done on a cell phone vs waiting to find internet.

get an inflatable camping mat from target. invaluable once you've had to sleep on a hardwood floor. they take up little space in the van.

AAA is great too - but if you don't have it and are super tight on cash right now - you can call them when you break down, and sign up for the membership there on the spot, and they will come bail you out. that happened to us once. and then you're covered for the year forward.

our tourbooks are generally a 3 ring binder with a mapquest/similar directions for each venue to venue. (or starting city to next venue since you hardly ever sleep at the actual venue and rely on locals to get you to the main highway out of town). also have all pertinent contact info for that nights show.

ex

date: 9/1/07
city: chicago, il
venue: beat kitchen
address: 1234 w. belmont
venue ph: 773.123.1234
venue contact: john benetti
deal: guarantee/percentage/whatever it is you have worked out
hospitality: food provided? y/n amt of booze etc?
addt'l contacts: add any friends ph numbers or whatever you have in this city you're going to want to remember to hook up with. contact info for any guest list/press/interviewey type stuff


then also have a section in the back of the tourbook that logs finances, spreadsheet style

date/venue/ $in from venue / $ in from merch / etc

depending on your merch you'd probabaly also have a section to inventory that.

cds sold. tshirts, what size, etc.

so you can easily know what's selling, what's not, how well/bad you're doing/etc.

up to you guys how detailed you wanna get on it - i wasn't always that detailed, it's just something that developed after a number of tours. then you have a money bag too (a SM58 mic case works great).

someone should be the main money person and always be trusted with it.

up to you whether you want to have the band fund meals, provide per diems, etc. track amt in/out for gas, breakfast, etc. or if you just wanna roll freestyle about it.

saving receipts for *everything* is also good if you're set up as a business all legal style.

that's probably a little more extreme than you'll want to go, but an option as well.

if you're profi or have rich parents get a GPS - that's on our wish list for the next big tour.

if you're doing well and someone has a bank account with a national chain, usually we deposit cash in excess of a grand since it starts to get scary carrying that much cash on you. also it's nice to use the band as an ATM and put gas on your credit card and have the band pay you cash out.

sharpies. duct tape. pens. always useful.

nerd preparedness points go to mapping out every gtr center on your path. i've never done this but peelander z does that. every time something's broken down instrument wise i've been fine relying on the people at the venue or whoever you crash with since it's usually band people anyway, and they can bring you to the local music store.

make sure your cell phone is on the right plan. (roaming/whatever). bring car charger.
Last edited by xonlocust on Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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alex matson
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Post by alex matson » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:26 pm

And don't let everyone decide that they can wait until the last minute to leave for the next town. Better to get there early. If someone has fallen in love or lust, they can pay for their own bus ticket to the next town.
And DO NOT let the lead singer establish the precedent of having everything his way.
I have backed out of any more sideman gigs ever again because of this. Unless they're Peter Gabriel and paying you to be wherever, whenever, fuck 'em.
But I'm not bitter...

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mrclean
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...some great advice...

Post by mrclean » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:53 pm

Lots of great advice here - esp. from 'xonlocust'

I'll add:
"someone should be the main money person and always be trusted with it"

We had a codeword for the money at the end of the night. Got it from Camper Van Beethoven. At the end of the the night, make sure someone - your money person - has "the Frisbee" before you leave. As in "Hey Dan, did you pack the Frisbee?" You don't want to have the "but I thought you got paid already!?" scenario...

And:
"make sure your cell phone is on the right plan. (roaming/whatever). bring car charger."

::begin old man rant::
You kids and your cell phones and laptop computers and Internet!!@#!@#. Back in my day we had to stop and look for pay phones!!!"
::/end old man rant::
-- mrclean

FNM
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Post by FNM » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:57 pm

Gatorade bottles are good to piss into in the van because you can actually fit your dick in it to reduce spillage. Plus Gatorade is so damn tasty.

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alex matson
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Post by alex matson » Thu Sep 06, 2007 1:38 pm

FNM wrote:Gatorade bottles are good to piss into in the van because you can actually fit your dick in it to reduce spillage. Plus Gatorade is so damn tasty.
And it's always good for a chuckle when the next guy opens the wrong bottle!

swelle
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Post by swelle » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:24 pm

I've pee'd in a Snapple bottle ONCE, and out a van window ONCE (a traffic jam in Dallas). But I was younger then, now I have either stage fright or prostate trouble :cry:

doc
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Post by doc » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:48 pm

Here's the recipe for my tour sandwich (adapted from a friend's recipe)...

Two pieces of wheat bread
Peanut Butter
Banana
Acocado
Raw ginger
Raw garlic

I live off of variations of this sandwich for weeks on the road. It's super filling and I can live off about $5.00 a day (makes two sandwiches). Keeps you healthy too!

-doc

xonlocust
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Post by xonlocust » Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:56 pm

couple other classics - don't forget the old gags on the bandmates...

there's your one guy goes in to pay for the gas and as soon as he's out of sight move the van around to the side of the gas station and watch as he comes out the door confused as shit wondering where you are. then once he finally figures out and starts walking towards the van all pissed off offer your sincere apologies and right as he reaches to get in the door gas it so he can't get in, then stop, apologize, let him reach for the door, do it again.. and again....

god that one NEVER gets old. i'm making myself crack up out loud thinking of the number of times i've pulled this....

BONUS GAME - if you're touring with another band, welcome them to the tour by buying a tuna-fish or other disgusting triangle sandwich from the gas station, open it just a crack, then go to the other bands van and be all "hey dudes, lemme check out THE TOUR VAN!!!" while getting your tour, make sure to slide opened sandwich behind/under the rear seats where it will unleash itself over the course of the tour.

ahhhh, tour.... those are the fun parts...

i learned most of those gags from chris daly of http://www.myspace.com/haymarketriot

mertmo
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Post by mertmo » Thu Sep 06, 2007 4:11 pm

Awesome thread !!!!

xonlocust, wow! Don't stop now, you're on a roll...
spreadsheet in the back of the binder to track everything...GREAT, we had not thought of that one.

Can't wait to show this thread to the band.
ight as he reaches to get in the door gas it so he can't get in, then stop, apologize, let him reach for the door, do it again.. and again....

god that one NEVER gets old. i'm making myself crack up out loud thinking of the number of times i've pulled this....
I would probably quit a band on the spot if someone did that to me more than one time. ...maybe I should'nt go on the road. :shock:

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alex matson
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Post by alex matson » Thu Sep 06, 2007 4:31 pm

I was asleep in the back of the bus. I woke up feeling something on my lips. The bass player was stuffing something into his pants and someone else was videotaping. Turns out, luckily, that he had microwaved a turkey dog and stuck it through his zipper...

So i taped his bunk shut with a door made of pizza boxes when he was the only one still asleep, blocked it off with bench cushions, and we had the driver put the bunk heat on full blast.
His was better though.

Another time we knew the crew had scored some mushrooms, so we had the driver stop when they were tripping and went back and told them the State Patrol had pulled us over and wanted everybody off the bus NOW.
Good times...

doc
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Post by doc » Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:53 pm

Ooh, tour games! Here's my favorite, but remember, you have to keep a straight face...

Go to an intersection in whatever city you're in that night, such Deerborn and 4th. Ask anyone walking by where Deerborn and 4th is. Let them know you're from out of town and having trouble finding the club you're supposed to play and you're worried you'll be late for the gig. No matter how many times they say you're on Deerborn and 4th, don't believe them. Keep acting confused and you can even get pissed after a while that they're not helping you get to the show on time. You're lost, your bandmates are counting on you to make it to the show on time, why can't they just be helpful and get you to Deerborn and 4th? It's generally a riot for everyone involved except the innocent person you've been asking directions from.

-doc

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CraigM
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Post by CraigM » Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:24 pm

I would suggest getting an early start on the types of foods that will make up your "tour diet". That way you find out which foods sit well and which don't. Best learned before you leave rather than 60 miles from the next rest stop. On a related note, various items such as toilet paper and hand sanitizer can come in handy, too.

bradfromtampa
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Post by bradfromtampa » Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:26 am

the one bad thing about bringing food in the van is that you get bored while driving and start eating all the food, well, that was my experience. i also like food too...

one time when my band went on tour, i snagged a book called where the locals eat. it has a ton of off the beaten path restaraunts you can find, it's also separated into cuisines...

i'll second the coupon books you can find at the rest areas, you can find good coupons for hotels in them.

i love micro tel hotels too. usually cheap and they are a fairly new chain...

i'd always try to hit up old friends or even family for places to stay.

if my old band played in a city and didn't have a place to stay, we'd sometimes drive into the night to the next city getting there like at 4 or 5 in the morning and try to find a hotel. sometimes we'd luck out and they'd just charge us for one night instead of 2. once we had to just kill a couple hours in the parking lot....

doc
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Post by doc » Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:34 am

I almost forgot, if anyone in the band is vegetarian/vegan or just likes to get healthier food and good produce (which can be especially difficult in the midwest and south) there's a book called "Healthy Highways" that lists every health food store (including Whole Foods and Wild Oats) as well as every restaurant with some decent healthy/veg options. It gives good descriptions, hours, contact info, and good directions off major freeways, and it's separated by state. Also, everyone should listen to "Ready for More" by the Murder City Devils over and over again...

Well it's hard
To be smart when you're young
And I don't care where we go
Because things are going well
The show was bad but the drinks
Are free and
I don't know what city I'm in
But there's no where I'd rather be
Thought I'd go home a star
Instead I went home broke and tired

But I'm ready to leave again
I said I'm ready to leave again, and I
I don't care where we go
Because things are going well, and I said I
I shook my hips at the show that night
Crowd was shakin' too
Oh they were shakin' real good
Oh they were shakin' real good

(Chorus)
And I'm subtle
Subtle like a T-Rex
And I haven't even started yet
One week on the road
One week and I'm already wrecked
Now I'm subtle
Subtle like a T-Rex
And I haven't even started yet
One week of the road
One week and I'm already wrecked
And I'm already wrecked

I don't know what city I'm in
But there's no where I'd rather be
I said I'm gonna go home a star
Instead I went home broke and tired

Now I'm subtle
Subtle like a T-Rex
And I haven't even started yet
One week on the road
One week and I'm already wrecked
And I'm subtle
Subtle like a T-Rex
And I haven't even started yet
One week of the road
One week and I'm already wrecked

If I could make some money
You know I'd spend it on me and you and
I'm just looking for the home stretch
And I'm subtle, subtle like a T-Rex
And I haven't got mine yet
But I'm gonna
But I'm gonna get mine
Gonna take what's mine, gonna get what's mine, gonna get what's mine

-doc

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