on the lighter side...

[Meriphew]

There's an engineer doing a Pro Tools session. The engineer is sitting in the control room with the band on the other side of the glass. He hits the talkback mic and says "Ok let's try a take". The band runs through the song once. The engineer hits the talkback and says "That sounded like crap.... come on in".

[stapes]

Q: What does a stripper do to her asshole before she goes to work?

A: She drops him off at band practice.

[trashy]

Old ones:
What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

--A drummer



What does a drummer use for contraception?

--His personality



What's the last thing the drummer said before he was kicked out of the band?

--"Guys, I've got a song we could maybe try."

[sethmilk]

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: They make machines that do that now.

[theslumlord]

How can you tell if a drummer is at the door?


The knock speeds up and he comes in late.

[swingdoc]

Conductor to orchestra at the start of rehearsal: "Please get out your
pencils. We have some marking to do.
The first two bars are in 3/4, not 4/4 as written.
Next, in the 5th bar, change it to 7/8 and this remains to the end.
In bar 7 we lower the pitch half a step.
In bar 13 lower the pitch one whole step and this will remain to the end.
In bar 26 where it says strict tempo, cross that out and write in molto
rubato.
In bar 32 cross out the grand pause.
And in bar 44, take out the legato and write in staccato.
Thank you. Let's begin."

Singer: "Excuse me, Maestro. What would you like me to change?"

Conductor: "Nothing at all.. Sing it exactly as you did yesterday."