need help with people skills....getting away from a band

[nick_a]

hey all. I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation.

a few months ago a guy that works at a music store nearby asked me if i would record his band. They had plans to track at the studio where i work, and then i would do analog->digital transfers for them and they would mix elsewhere. The tracking went fine but over time i kinda discovered that this guy isn't too stable. It's kind of at the point now where he thinks we're really good friends but i just did this tracking for him, and it's weird and kinda creepy. He keeps calling my cell phone and now wants to book more time, which to me isn't worth the money. What do i do? To add to the weirdness i'm really good friends with the ownner of the guitar shop, so i like to go in there a good bit.

any suggestions you have would really help me out.

[auralman]

This used to happen to me a lot. I just tell people the truth -

"it's in my best interests to be professional and friendly when we're working together, but please understand I don't mix work and pleasure, so please stop calling. I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just a private person socially. I'm glad we had the opportunity to work together, and hope we can do it again it the future"

If the guy gets offended, whatever. Really. He may talk to other people and say you're a dick, and if he does, so can you. The recording industry can be petty as hell sometimes - it's just a fact. The truth is always your best choice, though. More people respect that than anything else.

[I'm Painting Again]

what happens if he tries to stalk you after the rejection like in "the crush" or "fatal attraction" ?

im not trying to be silly here..this stuff has happened before..

[nick_a]

the weird part is, he's married. and his wife is the singer in the band.

[bigtoe]

gas, bad breath, any number of socially uncomfy things can work.

actually i'm always pretty up front with folks. it may seem rude but it takes it's toll after a while and pretty soon you're a road raging guy with a drinking problem. best find a way to be upfront and as polite as you can be.

Mike

[auralman]

usually not a risk - people keep up with each other just to maintain/expand their 'network', since on that side of the glass, it really does count who you know and who you don't, whereas engineers can depend a little more on WHAT they do. I'm not saying social skills are unimportant to the unshaven breed, but they're less so than to artists trying to build a career. Remember, this guy thinks he's being nice, not annoying. Most people don't intentionally try to annoy people, and when they're called on it, they tend to apologize somehow.

[I'm Painting Again]

yeah 99% of the time there will be no danger..just be honest and things should work out..

[midiot]

the weird part is, he's married. and his wife is the singer in the band.

In that case, hit on his wife in front of him. I'm sure that'll break his obsession with you. Actually I'm kidding.

Just tell him you are raising your prices. If he is willing to pay the higher price to record with you, then would it make it any more worth it???

[Moon Unit]

Just tell him you are raising your prices. If he is willing to pay the higher price to record with you, then would it make it any more worth it???

Yea, I think that's a great idea.

You could even build this in to a new rate card.

Explain to him that your rates are $X / hour (or whatever) for cool people . . . and $Y / hour for the annoying, pain-in-the-ass variety.

Then proceed to tell him that he falls under $Y pricing.

He should get the hint.

[junkstar]

This may sound odd, but I remember the point in my life when I threw down the towel. I had spent 25 years or so making everyone else happy and was making myself miserable in the process.

The simple fact is, you just have to learn to say no. It's an incrediblly powerful tool. Say what you want to say. Say it with confidence. Tell this guy that you appreciate his business and cut off the rest of the association utilizing the word no. Changed my life.