For the parents on this board: Logistics question

[trianglelines]

The first thing that happened just before my son was born (2 years ago), the band stopped playing live. I am fortunate that I built a sonically fortified rehearsal room that was meant to contain a four piece band....

I ended up turning it into a home studio instead. The drummer/engineer felt a bit guilty backburnering the band and I'm the receipient of gear when he upgrades...

I basically do whatever in the studio during naptimes on weekends or after my son goes to bed at 8 or so (If I don't owe some one-to-one time with the Mrs.)

My son is very assertive and will come into the studio and say "daddy all done now!" and turn off the board and power amp. He learned to not hit the SDR power button (thank god).

You learn to cope and adapt. I spend a lot more time on arrangements now especially since once the drums are tracked 95% of it is on me to finish the song. My friend and songwriting partner TRIES to come over once a week- averages more like once a month between his commitments and mine (and he doesn't even have a kid).

Part of life, y'all. But I wouldn't trade a minute away from the time I'm spending watching my boy grow up.

-TimT

[workshed]

Man... I have a girlfriend I live with and It's really hard to find time to work on my songs.
If I didn't work at the studio all day she might be more understanding of me coming home and writing music all night.

I can't imagine how tough it would be with kids and a wife.

Yeah, I remember way back before my wife and I were married, she was out of college and working and I was working part time and fucking around the rest of the time. She'd crash around 9 and I'd stay up for hours writing songs. I haven't done that in years. I can't even focus long enough to write an entire song anymore, so I end up with a bunch of random parts that may or may not fit together. I'm kind of thinking of shifting my musical focus to less linear songwriting where the songs would take shape as I record them. I'm sure there are plenty of problems with that approach, but it's probably the only way I would be able to set realistic expectations.

Enjoy your music time while you can!

[underthebigtree]

Right there with you. Our first baby was born 3 weeks ago. I had a great deal of worry about not having enough time for non-work related audio production. But I just started rehearsing with my two bands 1 night/week each again. Hopefully, we can make it work, as long as the rest of my time is spent in baby land. We will see.

I turned 40 yesterday, so we pushed the family thing as late as we could. I had plenty of time for music over the last 20 years, and feel confident that I'll have plenty more over the next 40. But for now, the magical experience of tending to another is the priority. It's all part of the journey. I consider myself very lucky to be able to experience this great aspect of life.

Best of luck to all of us dads and moms who have music running through our veins.

[friendlybunny]

I have a newborn, and one my current recording clients is paying me in diapers, and wipes(!)

It's only a 3 song demo, but a years worth of diapers.

I don't mind weird payments, but.... I haven't tried to do the math on that one yet.

[Spiderhead69]

It's always frustrating balancing family, hobbies and work...It takes give and take on both sides...You might have to give up one or two nights a week to watch the kids while your wife enjoys time off for herself...in return, she should give you a night or two of recording without having to watch the kids...Luckily, my kid is grown enough that niether of us have to watch him..
I'm able to get 2-4 hours a night of composing time in...It's usually harder on the weekends cause that's when I spend time outside

[workshed]

It's usually harder on the weekends cause that's when I spend time outside

Outside? What is this "outside" you speak of?

(suffering northwestern dreary winter cabin fever)

[SKEETER]

Man, I can't be the only grandparent here............

[llmonty]

my wife and i have been trying to have kids for a while now, so we have been anticipating their arrival, though it hasn't happened yet.

I have a similar set up (sans kids for now) as you workshed - with my office/studio on the same floor as the bedrooms. In preparation for kid(s) we are rearranging the upstairs so the master bedroom and kid's room are on one side of the house, my studio on the other - with a room, hallway closets and a few walls between us. When I can in the renovation I am adding mass/insulation and trying to seal the room off pretty good. But I am realistic and know that I will need to do more with DIs and reamping - and luckily I have good tools for that already. I also will have an amp closet that is as far away as you can get from the sleeping rooms. The other cool thing about this room is that it is surrounded by other rooms, so it has lots of options for isolation, different room sounds and even drums when everyone is awake!

When we bought this house a year and a half ago I knew it wasn't ideal, but the house had such a good sound to it. Also, there is room in the back for building a nice outbuilding - that was the original plan - until I figured out the costs, how much work the main house needed and that it is unlikely we will stay in the house more than another 5 years. There is a full unfinished basement that I thought about, but it bums me out thinking about being there - with the 7 foot ceilings, mechanicals, moisture, etc. when upstairs are wood floors, 9, 10 and 19 foot ceitings, plaster walls etc.

Our next house is going to have dedicated space for me either in an outbuilding or like an over the garage tucked away space situation.

As far as time goes - the only thing I can say is that you just have to cut out the bullshit. My wife was pregnant for a while (sadly we lost the baby). When I found out, I was so happy and everything else in my life seemed way less of a priority. And all the things I grumble about - job, house etc. didn't seem that bad anymore. I just focused on work and got it done, and spent WAY less time on the internet or other wastes of time. There is an interview in the current Tapeop that touches on this. I forget which one. But it struck a chord with me.

[MT]

It's all been said here, but someone touched on what may be the best arrangement that I've come across: the Sat./Sun. split.

My wife and I have an agreement that Saturday's mine. I do home remodeling (my own and others' houses) as well as music, so from Sat. early until late, that day is mine.

The trade-off is that Sunday, from 1:00 - ??, is my wife's.

Works out great and gives me plenty of time to track an entire song, or many complete ideas.

MT

[flanneljammies]

By chance, the touring/practicing/recording band I was in broke up when my wife was pregnant with our first child. I put my lower-level of commitment into my side-project/hobby band for the next four years. When our second child was about a year old, we began a massive remodel project on our 80-year-old farm house and I didn't rehearse with the band for a year and didn't touch my guitar or recording stuff for six months. The band finally broke up and I lay around feeling sorry for myself because I didn't ever have a block of time to DO anything. A friend in the same boat talked about how he just takes whatever time he gets: 15 minutes here to listen to a mix or make notes or audition samples, or an hour to throw together a sketch of an idea... I realized that I don't have to have a 2-3 hour block of time... I'd never get anything done otherwise. My basement is pretty sound proof so I can get loud when the kids are asleep and I just need to make time for my music, the same way I make time for working on my house and spending time with my family. But yeah, I too am a lot happier as a family man now... I'm 41 now and I screwed around for a lot of years with music and booze...

[TomS]

Been there!

1. marry a musician who has gear lust as well.
2. Wait for the kids to go to school.

First few years, no way anything will get done, not easily in any case.

Shower the kids with love, of course!

[nipsy]

my kids have been a huge influence on my music......

[bigtoe]

i do every other weekend with the step chilluns...with gal and kids and recording you do not have time to breathe...my desk job is my holiday at times...worth it but flipping tiring...

i remember driving to the daycare on like 45 minutes sleep and getting lost...i had made the trip a hundred times...

Mike

[Jeremy Garber]

I am married with a son who will have his first birthday in a couple weeks. I also work a full time job at about 50 hours a week over 6 days. Even my Sundays are filled with grocery shopping and eating a big dinner with a lot of my family over at my dad's house. I don't get home from work until 7pm during the week. I spend my evenings with my family.

I get most of my creative time after they are asleep. I sacrafice my own sleep for this time. There are rare occasions when I am home alone, when I will record stuff with a mic. Most of the work I do at night is sequencing. I also own an electric drum kit, so that helps out. I always direct line my bass and guitar, too.

I work for a family owned business, so from time to time we do take extra time off of work. Right now I'm on a four day weekend for Mardi Gras. I'll be finishing up the artwork for my second album while finishing up some new tunes for a couple video game soundtracks I'm working on.

I have a large back yard where I plan on building a 20x20 foot room specifically for recording and art. I'm currently brainstorming how much money I need to put away each month so that in 4 years I can afford to do this. We want to sell this place after 10 years and build our own house on a piece of land out in the woods that my wife owns. When we do that, we will add an extra room for my work.

I've wanted to own my own studio since I was 14 (I'm now 25). Little by little I have aquired equipment. I'm a lot more serious about it now than I was before. As long as my family is taken care of, and the wife is kept happy, I am allowed to make reasonable equipment purchases. Right now I am looking to get a stereo XLR interface for my PC, as well as a control surface.

You definately have to find a balance. It can be hard. It helps that my wife likes my music though. When my son is old enough I hope to teach him about all this great music stuff.

[Stephen]

I know there are quite a few others on this board who have kids. My question is: How and when do you record sans interruptions? Does it get any easier as the kids get older? How do you keep your marriage intact with all the gear purchases and free time spent holed up in your studio?

I have a three year old and a newborn. Between the two of them and my wife, I'm finding it nearly impossible to get enough time to even write music, much less record it and get to know my gear and space. I work out of my home and my small office is also my small studio and happens to be on the same floor as all the bedrooms. So recording late at night is usually the only time I get, but forget mic'ing an amp at that hour.

Anyone have advice or strategies that work for you?

Some day I want a house on a bigger chunk of property where I can have an outbuilding with all of my studio stuff. That day's probably far off, so until then I have to make due.

Help!

Yes, it get's easier when kids get older. I lost my first marraige because of recording (well that and the fact that I was a lousy husband.)
I would say that each situation is differrent and that the best advice I can offer is balance your needs with your families' needs. Be clear and responsible.
Pax, Steve