For the parents on this board: Logistics question

[workshed]

I know there are quite a few others on this board who have kids. My question is: How and when do you record sans interruptions? Does it get any easier as the kids get older? How do you keep your marriage intact with all the gear purchases and free time spent holed up in your studio?

I have a three year old and a newborn. Between the two of them and my wife, I'm finding it nearly impossible to get enough time to even write music, much less record it and get to know my gear and space. I work out of my home and my small office is also my small studio and happens to be on the same floor as all the bedrooms. So recording late at night is usually the only time I get, but forget mic'ing an amp at that hour.

Anyone have advice or strategies that work for you?

Some day I want a house on a bigger chunk of property where I can have an outbuilding with all of my studio stuff. That day's probably far off, so until then I have to make due.

Help!

[lichthaus-media]

13 month old here. Any commercial material I do at a studio during my "business hours". As far as the home-studio goes, my rules are: 1) a supportive or participatory spouse 2) Don't take yourself too seriously 3) KEEP THE GEAR MONEY SEPARATE FROM THE BILLS MONEY! and 4) Be honest about your purchases.

My little girl will sit and beat on a drum or tibetan bell or something while I'm tracking - I just try to keep her from eating bits of cable...If I have to record amps or other loud things, I'll put ear muffs on her or place her just out of the radiation zone (but, I record at low volumes as a practice).

-james

[workshed]

Yeah, my wife and I have an understanding that to buy gear, I usually need to sell something. Or if I do freelance work for bands (where I usually do it for a discounted fee), that money can go towards new gear. I try to keep the gear purchases on the up-and-up, and she is very uderstanding about it. What drives her craziest is when I spend hours trying to find the best deal. I do totally obsess about that and I need to get better at realizing that the $10 or so I save is not worth the hours I spend searching for that deal.

As for kids: yeah, the young'uns are easier to manage, but my three year old sees all the faders and knobs on my mixing board and cannot keep his hands to himself. He gets bored quickly. I've been trying to do some projects with him to learn how to use my gear better and to also keep him entertained and teach him about music. We did a quick version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" for Christmas and it was pretty fun. I've been trying to work on "You are my Sunshine" with him because he sings that song to his sister, but the attention span is just not there yet. I think I'll track all the instrument parts at night, then try the vocals with him separately. Talk about difficult clients -- try explaining vocal tracking to a three year old!

Thanks for the advice!

[mrufino1]

I have a 16 month old daughter (becoming quite the drummer!) and I now pretty much use my laptop and MBox after she and my wife go to bed. It is frustrating sometimes not to have enough time to record or learn, and I have stayed up way too late many a night mixing something or learnign to edit better. They understand though, and not that it always works out, but we make deals for time, where my wife will take my daughter out on a Saturday afternoon or something. Luckily, my wife is a musician as well (although not that serious, but she has a band with two other moms, including the wife of my studio partner/owner) so she usually understands (usually....). The studio is in the partner's house, and he has three kids too, so it is a challenge. Luckilym the studio has been there since before they were born and they know not to touch and are generally cooperative when we are recording. Itis part of the charm though from the studio that sometimes you solo a track in the mix and hear a child crying upstairs. One thing family does though is make you realize that there are other thigns in life besides being buried ina computer screen behind headphones, and makes you really go after it when you do get time. I would never trade it, even if sometimes frustrating.

[workshed]

One thing family does though is make you realize that there are other thigns in life besides being buried ina computer screen behind headphones, and makes you really go after it when you do get time. I would never trade it, even if sometimes frustrating.

Absolutely -- I love having kids, but it is indeed a lifestyle change and takes some adjustment. Before we had our daughter, I was starting to get some more free time, as my son was learning to entertain himself more and becoming more independent. Now we're back at square one with the baby and it's taking some more adjustment time. Plus, my freelance work has been crazy lately, so that is consuming my normal recording time as well. Ugh!

[fifthstory]

Wow, I thought i was the only one in the whole industry that had a family. I acutally got into this after my oldest was born, and sometimes I wish someone would have warned me about the amount of time and money i would need to spend.

when i was working at a studio (as well as having a day job) it was tough, going to work and not coming home till after midnight. As far as recording at home, i do as much editing and midi work and di stuff as i can when the kids are home, the only time i get to set up mics is when my wife takes the kids and goes to Bible study or to play group (usualyy about 3-5 hr.s per week). so i have to be fast, and it does get frustrating, when the computer doesn't cooperate, or i'm just not feeling it.

anyway, it's nice to know i'm not the only one.

peace,
Chris

[penelec]

My son's almost 5, and while it was a bit tough when he was younger, lately I found it a lot easier to spend time recording without feeling guilty or frustrated. He's old enough now he'll be in the room with me when I'm recording and will play, read his Star Wars schematics book, or play with the keyboard. I think I need a headphone amp, though, because he always wants to be monitoring what I'm making.

When he was littler, I used to have a hard time keeping him away from flashing lights and the reels, which are really fascinating to 1- and 2-year olds. Hard to explain or justify why one can't touch all those cool spinning things. You actually want them to. You don't like saying 'no' to kids, especially to germinating cognitive seeds that you yourself have been nurturing for a long time.

As to yr original question: leave everything set up all the time. I always left a reel on the tape machine and a basic mic set up for those quick middle of the night things where you didn't have a lot of time, but you needed to get something down. I've even left stuff on -- tube mics powered up, pres on, tape deck waiting -- for a couple days, just 'cause I was in the middle of something, but needed to be doing dad stuff, too. I run in and record and edit in like 30-minute bursts when I could.

But it's still intensely satisfying. And when you get more time later, like truly uninterrupted chunks of whole days, you'll find yourself far more efficient than back in the childless days.

[Slider]

Man... I have a girlfriend I live with and It's really hard to find time to work on my songs.
If I didn't work at the studio all day she might be more understanding of me coming home and writing music all night.

I can't imagine how tough it would be with kids and a wife.

[Mr. Dipity]

Anyone have advice or strategies that work for you?

Unfortunately, you can't logisticate 1 hour and make it into 2

Your kids come first. May I recomend you turn your musical hobby into one you can share with them outright, or sell all your gear and swear off it like a bad habit. You'll never have enough time for them both, so having your home studio just sit there will just make you bitter.

Alternately: massivelt down-size your intentions - focus on one thing, and do that one thing really well. For example, get rid of everything but your primary instrument, and focus on that alone. Guitar player? Sell your recording rig and your amps, and buy a top of the line acoustic, or perhaps a classical guitar.

Limited options make for faster 'start up' and 'shut down' times, and focusing on doing one thing means that you have a chance to be decent at it, with the time you have available. Without the luxury of time, being a jack-of-all-trades isn't a workable option.

You are still going to have to deal with the fact that this is now a peripheral part of your life, but that's the choice you made when you decided to have kids.

Oh yes, and stay away from this board: it's a massive time sink :>

[YOUR KONG]

I've got a five-year old. My wife takes the kid to my wife's parents for breakfast on Sunday mornings, so that's when I track vocals. I track everything else after the kid has been put to bed and my clothes for the next day have been ironed, etc - which usually means 9:30 or later. Conveniently, everything I do is digital direct.

It is tough, though, and I think newborns are the toughest - honestly, I think the best policy with a newborn would be to take a vacation from any projects for a year - but that's probably neither realistic nor healthy. As they get older it gets easier to manage everything.

The hardest thing for me to learn was to revise my expectations - you've already had one kid, so maybe this is old hat to you, but I learned (the hard way!) that if you expect to be able to carry on like your unfettered buddies you're cruising for a bruising. The best approach is to stop what you're doing, consider your capabilities and constraints, and then make a new plan that will accomodate those.

When I had my kid I was trying to keep up with my unfettered buddies, practicing 4 nights a week, practicing for hours at home, writing, etc...it just didn't work. So, I stopped and everything and figured out where I was at. Now I'm in a low-obligation coverband and doing solo electronica - both of which are a lot of fun and satisfying.

Some of my unfettered buddies just got signed and quit their dayjobs. I'd like to do that too - but whenever I feel the green-eyed monster creeping up I remind myself that I'm 20,000 times more happier now than I was before I started my family.

And now that she's older, my kid and I have a lot of fun in the studio - I just set up a mic and hit record and she goes nuts singing Broadway tunes and Raffi. Then I burn a CD and she plays it for all of her adoring family members. She loves "making a CD" with me. As for gear - well, I enforce a strict "no-touch" rule for Daddy's gear and she knows to keep her hands to herself (he said, foolishly...)

[madtho]

?you'll find yourself far more efficient than back in the childless days.

This is so true.

Mine is 2 1/2 months and I've suddenly learned how to record efficiently.

I get alot all the direct stuff in, in preparation for the few minutes here and there when the ladies are shopping or something. Maybe some scratch guitar direct, then burn a CD to rehearse vocals in the car. I also rehearse instruments (Rhodes/Guitar) direct-therefore I'm doing alot more rehearsing and finding parts (composing) than I used to.

Instead of a bunch of half-assed things in and out of progress, I've got a small set of songs whose progress I know, and know where they're going, and what they need. It's even written down. unbelievable.

and a baby

-mad

[spankenstein]

I never kept quiet when my daughter was young. If she was going to be in my house it would most likely be loud a LOT of the time. My daughter can go to bed and I can go to the basement and play drums and she isn't even phased.

[workshed]

Unfortunately, you can't logisticate 1 hour and make it into 2

Your kids come first. May I recomend you turn your musical hobby into one you can share with them outright, or sell all your gear and swear off it like a bad habit. You'll never have enough time for them both, so having your home studio just sit there will just make you bitter.

Yeah, I've been down that road with kid #1. I tried to still have band practice 2 times a week, play shows, record, etc. It just wasn't working for the family, and the band was getting bitter due to the cancelled practices, so I bowed out. I now play in a band where the guys are all pretty much grown up and doing it just for fun. None of them have kids yet, so they get antsy sometimes, but they are much more understanding about my life. I do try to share my hobby with the family when I can. Recording things with my son, and for Christmas I made a DVD of all the video clips and photos from my son's birth until now, and managed to write and record a lot of the soundtrack for it. That's about all I have time for and I can accept that. In maybe 3 or 4 more years, I will again have more time to pursue my habits with more vigor.

Alternately: massivelt down-size your intentions - focus on one thing, and do that one thing really well. For example, get rid of everything but your primary instrument, and focus on that alone. Guitar player? Sell your recording rig and your amps, and buy a top of the line acoustic, or perhaps a classical guitar.

That's the thing, I'm kinda really wanting to focus on recording and learning the audio engineering trade -- almost to the point where I'd be willing to give up playing music to just focus on recording others.

Limited options make for faster 'start up' and 'shut down' times, and focusing on doing one thing means that you have a chance to be decent at it, with the time you have available. Without the luxury of time, being a jack-of-all-trades isn't a workable option.

The jack-of-all-trades thing has been the bane of my existence. Perhaps I have ADD, but I can do a lot of things okay, but nothing extrememly well. You make a good point there.

You are still going to have to deal with the fact that this is now a peripheral part of your life, but that's the choice you made when you decided to have kids.

Oh yes, and stay away from this board: it's a massive time sink :>

I know, I don't blame the kids or family for this at all -- it was a very conscious decision on my part to have a family. I believe it's workable to have my hobbies and passions still be a part of my life though -- just to a lesser degree. The way I see it, some guys love sports, some guys fuck with their cars endlessly, other guys have affairs. Me? I'm a music and recording dork.

Anyhow, thanks for the perspective and suggestions -- I agree that I need to simplfy things until I have more free time again, indeed!

[vvv]

I have sole custody of a 6 year old boy and a 7.5 year old girl.

If I do anything during the week, after work, it's in headphonnes as they sleep; I might be able to get in a quick take on a guitar or vocal before their 8:00 bedtime, but can't count on it.

Their mutha has them for 24 hours each weekend; I sleep about 3-4 of those hours, sit in a bar about the same; the rest of the time is mine and aside from eating and other necessaries, I'm recording.

At least while I'm without a girlfriend!

The other 24 hours of the weekend, when they are here at home, is much easier since the youngest turned 5, in that I can be in my bedroom studio and they walk in and out and do what they do.

We eat meals, clean house, do homework and shop, etc.; the rest of the time, aside from maybe watching a DVD together, I'm recording while they play, watch TV (not too much!) or, eh, play.

The kids get into it, also; I gave them their first structured guitar lesson last week; the first half of the Peter Gunn Theme (e-e-f#-e). Hilarious as I let them use full-size acoustics (a couple of cheap Washburns I bought for outdoor summer jamming.)

They love it when I find a track for them to sing, talk, bang on shite, etc.

But yes, the kids do come first; as they get more independent, you will have more time, or at least flexibility.

In the meantime, headphones rule!

[workshed]

I've got a five-year old. My wife takes the kid to my wife's parents for breakfast on Sunday mornings, so that's when I track vocals. I track everything else after the kid has been put to bed and my clothes for the next day have been ironed, etc - which usually means 9:30 or later. Conveniently, everything I do is digital direct.

Yes, I think I need to work out something like this for my wife. We already have days where I take my son out for part or most of the day so she can get work done, so it might be nice to have her do this so I can track things like vocals.

It is tough, though, and I think newborns are the toughest - honestly, I think the best policy with a newborn would be to take a vacation from any projects for a year - but that's probably neither realistic nor healthy. As they get older it gets easier to manage everything.

This is a good point -- I pretty much did that with our first kid. It was just too much of a change going from no kids to one. I feel like with this one, it's not as major, so a few months off should suffice. Although band practice is starting up now after 6 weeks off. That will help my mental state, but not sure how it will help the wife's!

The hardest thing for me to learn was to revise my expectations - you've already had one kid, so maybe this is old hat to you, but I learned (the hard way!) that if you expect to be able to carry on like your unfettered buddies you're cruising for a bruising. The best approach is to stop what you're doing, consider your capabilities and constraints, and then make a new plan that will accomodate those.

When I had my kid I was trying to keep up with my unfettered buddies, practicing 4 nights a week, practicing for hours at home, writing, etc...it just didn't work. So, I stopped and everything and figured out where I was at. Now I'm in a low-obligation coverband and doing solo electronica - both of which are a lot of fun and satisfying.

Some of my unfettered buddies just got signed and quit their dayjobs. I'd like to do that too - but whenever I feel the green-eyed monster creeping up I remind myself that I'm 20,000 times more happier now than I was before I started my family.

Totally agreed and can relate! I had many of the same experiences with my friends. Like watching the band I was in get a strong local following, get really good live, and do some touring -- after I left. That was what got me into home recording in the first place -- finding myself without a band for the first time in 15 years. I had to fill the musical void somehow, so I picked up an mBox and got started. Now I'm totally sucked in, hook, line and gear.

And now that she's older, my kid and I have a lot of fun in the studio - I just set up a mic and hit record and she goes nuts singing Broadway tunes and Raffi. Then I burn a CD and she plays it for all of her adoring family members. She loves "making a CD" with me. As for gear - well, I enforce a strict "no-touch" rule for Daddy's gear and she knows to keep her hands to herself (he said, foolishly...)

Me too. I told Dylan that he can touch the mixer only if he asks and I say it's okay. I will usually say, "okay, we need to move this fader up to here -- do you want to help with that?" I'm totally into him learning how to use this stuff at an early age, but I also don't want peanut butter gumming up the sliders. Already had several fluids dumped on my laptop (and it still works!), don't want to chance it with my gear. I want to do a little CD for my wife, of Dylan singing songs for her. I think that will be my secret project.