Original Song - Please Listen !

[sdlogan9]

Hey guys here is a new Song I wrote.

The recording quality is not nearly as good as what you guys are doing.

I am using a Makie Satellite. and a pair of 25.00 headphones

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... ID=6418481

The song is called " Light "

it is a Bahai' Song.

Peace
Shane

[brainfreezebob]

Though admirably sincere, your lyrics are a bit on the rough side. I would say try not to force syllables into beats they don't agree with, and work to find rhymes that aren't the first thing that pops into your head (night/light, love/above, voice/choice, etc.)

I don't think this song was made for me, so I'll leave it at the technique level. You seem to enjoy doing what you're doing, though, and that's a gift in itself, so don't let anything I've said get you down.

[sdlogan9]

Though admirably sincere, your lyrics are a bit on the rough side. I would say try not to force syllables into beats they don't agree with, and work to find rhymes that aren't the first thing that pops into your head (night/light, love/above, voice/choice, etc.)

I don't think this song was made for me, so I'll leave it at the technique level. You seem to enjoy doing what you're doing, though, and that's a gift in itself, so don't let anything I've said get you down.

Great evaluation.

I Originally wrote this song with just an acoustic guitar, and kinda played it free of structure. Depending on how I felt like playing it. So when I put it down with a 4/4 Drum beat, I must say it was difficult to get all the word in each measure. I was hoping no one would notice

Thanks for the input.

Peace
Shane

[Mark Legat]

I really liked it. I like how the solo came in panned to the left. I like the higher frequencies in it, how it sounds kind of sizzley, bright, airy.

[sdlogan9]

Thanks for the kind comments

I added a few new parts to the song today and updated the link, so that song is starting to sound more complete.

Peace
Shane