Your disc reviewed online

User avatar
@?,*???&?
on a wing and a prayer
Posts: 5804
Joined: Wed May 07, 2003 4:36 pm
Location: Just left on the FM dial
Contact:

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by @?,*???&? » Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:31 pm

coniferouspine wrote:I think it's safe to say that paying $40 for a review on that site certainly wouldn't do any good for the person who paid for it.
?

What Third Monk is offering is for a new artist to gather another resource for a presskit. The veritable one-sheet is necessary for any endeavours the band or artist pursue.

Do you guys really think discs get reviewed in commercial publications for free? It's called 'ad-buy'.

Don't need ithe guaranteed review? Then don't send a disc.

User avatar
wayne kerr
ears didn't survive the freeze
Posts: 3868
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:11 am

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by wayne kerr » Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:46 pm

Jeff Robinson wrote:
coniferouspine wrote:I think it's safe to say that paying $40 for a review on that site certainly wouldn't do any good for the person who paid for it.
?

What Third Monk is offering is for a new artist to gather another resource for a presskit. The veritable one-sheet is necessary for any endeavours the band or artist pursue.

Do you guys really think discs get reviewed in commercial publications for free? It's called 'ad-buy'.

Don't need ithe guaranteed review? Then don't send a disc.
BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU??????? NO I'M SERIOUS ANSWER ME!!!!!! WHY SHOULD ANYBODY PAY YOU A FUCKING DIME FOR A GUARANTEED REVIEW? WHO FUCKING CARES. GUARANTEED REVIEW IN ROLLING STONE? OR ON SOME FUCKING SHITBOX WEBSITE? WHERE'S BIGTOE WHEN YOU NEED HIM? CHARLATAN! PENIS!
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
-Hunter S. Thompson

User avatar
A.L.
buyin' a studio
Posts: 967
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2003 8:58 pm
Location: Oakland, CA

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by A.L. » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:00 pm

"The thing that gets me is how he flips out about payola, [..] etc. [yet] not only condones but actually solicits [what are essentially] the same services in print."

bobbydj
on a wing and a prayer
Posts: 5351
Joined: Wed May 07, 2003 2:58 am
Location: astride the vortex console
Contact:

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by bobbydj » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:10 pm

Lovely grub.

"Do I get a fucking reach around with that?" HAHAHA!!! Oh fuck. I'm dieing here.
Image

Bobby D. Jones
Producer/Engineer
(The Crudballs, Tyrone P. Spink, The Fuxx, Shitters, The Geighs...)

User avatar
tiger vomitt
dead but not forgotten
Posts: 2077
Joined: Wed May 07, 2003 11:38 am
Location: brooklyn, NY
Contact:

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by tiger vomitt » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:36 am

jeff you dope, reviews are not always paid for

who told you they were?

ugh youre such a retard why bother

User avatar
wayne kerr
ears didn't survive the freeze
Posts: 3868
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:11 am

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by wayne kerr » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:13 am

tiger vomitt wrote:jeff you dope, reviews are not always paid for
They are at Third Monk Records! And you get some free swampland in Alabama with each paid review!

SMH
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
-Hunter S. Thompson

User avatar
greenmeansjoe
buyin' gear
Posts: 524
Joined: Thu May 15, 2003 12:33 pm
Location: Newport News, Va.

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by greenmeansjoe » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:24 am

Jeff Robinson wrote:
coniferouspine wrote:I think it's safe to say that paying $40 for a review on that site certainly wouldn't do any good for the person who paid for it.
?

What Third Monk is offering is for a new artist to gather another resource for a presskit. The veritable one-sheet is necessary for any endeavours the band or artist pursue.

Do you guys really think discs get reviewed in commercial publications for free? It's called 'ad-buy'.

Don't need ithe guaranteed review? Then don't send a disc.
Dude, seriously.

Your reviews aren't gonna do shit for a band. I work at a newspaper, man, and wade through a lot of press kits. A lot. If anything, bullshit reviews from sketchy sources I've never heard of turn me away. I'd rather not see a review than see obvious resume padding. It's sleazy and it suggests that a band can't get a decent review.

This service you're offering is essentially the same thing as the fake positive-review taglines movie studios pay to have included in ads for their movies. It's total bullshit, Jeff, and the people reading these things -- music critics, club owners, etc. -- recognize that.

Stop taking advantage of people, asshole.

Joe
Last edited by greenmeansjoe on Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

coniferouspine
re-cappin' neve
Posts: 700
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 4:57 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by coniferouspine » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:50 am

Jeff Robinson wrote:?

What Third Monk is offering is for a new artist to gather another resource for a presskit. The veritable one-sheet is necessary for any endeavours the band or artist pursue.

Do you guys really think discs get reviewed in commercial publications for free? It's called 'ad-buy'.

Don't need ithe guaranteed review? Then don't send a disc.
Sissy wrote:BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???????
Exactly as Sissy and Kingandcaroline pointed out. That's precisely what I am saying when I say that your service is useless, is that if I am writer or booking agent or whatever, and I see a quote in a press kit from a review on a website that is obviously bogus or that I've never heard of, it throws the entire band into suspicion. It JUST DOESN'T HELP THEIR CASE ANY when it comes to getting noticed. In real life as a journalist, I and every other writer I've ever met, we see that stuff in a press kit and we pretty much instantly threw that CD into the office giveaway pile. If you're a band just starting out, nd you really want a one-sheet full of quotes from places that no music writer takes seriously, well why not just make it up yourself and get your best friend to review it on his own blog for free and save $40? I'd take that more seriously anyway. The journalist is still going to know it's bogus. Which is why what Jeff is doing is a rip.


FWIW, not all reviews are bought; in my experience, when it did happen, the sleazy stuff in music journalism ad buying usually went down more like this -- label books an add for U2, and mag does story on some other up and coming Island band, PJ Harvey for instance to use a mid '90s example. Or magazine pitches label to do cover story on band, and label reacts by buying an ad package after the story is placed. Or label offers to buy the mag something they already ridiculously want, like flying a writer to London to interview PJ Harvey in person instead of by phone. Sleazy, perhaps, but usually not directly, and not at all the way Jeff portrays it -- saying that the whole industry is "pay for a review" is utter bullcrap when you're talking about new bands. Clearly Jeff's using this as a defense for something that's basically indefensible, something that shows a complete and utter lack of scruples or integrity, and it only shows to the people that DO know how things work, that he is talking out his wazoo. "Well everybody else is doing it." That is a pathetic and lame excuse, and besides, in this case it's not even factually correct.
"Every song needs a cranked marshall for mojo, even if decorum requires muting the track."

User avatar
joeysimms
ears didn't survive the freeze
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:10 am

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by joeysimms » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:16 am

coniferouspine wrote:... If you're a band just starting out, nd you really want a one-sheet full of quotes from places that no music writer takes seriously, well why not just make it up yourself and get your best friend to review it on his own blog for free and save $40? ...
Exactly exactly exactly. Why pay JR $40 when you can write whatever you want for free??
beware bee wear

User avatar
eeldip
dead but not forgotten
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri May 02, 2003 5:10 pm
Location: NoPo

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by eeldip » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:45 am

Jeff Robinson wrote: Don't need ithe guaranteed review? Then don't send a disc.
this is a real bullshit arguement. its always the last resort of the con-man to use the "hey its a free country!" line. (i worked as a paralegal in corporate law, man i have seen that defense many many times)

the point is, what you are selling is a con. people aren't free to con other people.

you can't blame the consumer, you have to blame the con-artist.

really jeff, you have to take responsibilies for your own actions. just stop offering the "service" you provide. start helping the music community, stop hurting it.

User avatar
wayne kerr
ears didn't survive the freeze
Posts: 3868
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:11 am

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by wayne kerr » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:51 am

joeysimms wrote:
coniferouspine wrote:... If you're a band just starting out, nd you really want a one-sheet full of quotes from places that no music writer takes seriously, well why not just make it up yourself and get your best friend to review it on his own blog for free and save $40? ...
Exactly exactly exactly. Why pay JR $40 when you can write whatever you want for free??
Did you guys even read any of those reviews? I think Jeff should submit the reviews for critique by someone who reviews reviews. Never mind, this one's on me Jeff. Your reviews are not only a total fucking fraud but your pathectic attempt at rock journalism is actually worth the price of admission it's so goddamn funny.

Jeff Robinson's CD review website is a vanity project so profoundly vapid, over-arching and self-satisfyingly cheesy that if a copy of this website was left lying about the oval office, it might just be responsible for wiping out what's left of intelligent life on this planet. If you're still looking for evidence of WMD my friends, somebody dial Dick Cheney's digits, because I just found it.

Moving through our oxygen-depleted journey in this galaxy of stultifying nothingness (surely Jeff's hometown of Novi, Michigan offers no such resemblance to this vacuous void?), we encounter a veritable shuttle-potty full of artless derivation, soul-less pseudo-journalism, erectile dysfunction inducing late-night Super-fly bedroom bullshit. All somehow akin to the writings of a Creative Writing 1101 student meets an illiterate dyslexic that may as well be interpreted by the Shriner's Circus. Jeff even tosses in an unintentionally mocking attempt at genuine criticism so lacking in the remotest evidence of skill or talent as to border on parody.

Reading these reviews is like watching stray dogs fucking, you want to cover your eyes, but your fingers are already shoved in your own ass. I couldn't make it through one entire review at a time. I had to attack each opus in gag-inducing bits. If you can imagine that forgotten step-uncle on your mother's side with the greasy comb-over, white tassel loafers, robin's-egg blue leisure suit and a Tandy TRS-80 aping Greil Marcus with his finger stuck on the Lester Bangs button and then filter it through the aesthetic of a mid-afternoon poolside greeting card salesmen convention at a Holiday Inn, then you've only begun to fathom this idea. The utter queasiness of this stuff will induce a gag reflex in anybody with even an atom of literary heart and soul in their bones. If you think exposed plutonium is dangerous, you haven't had your brain melted by this brain-pooh.

Music Criticism Commandment No. 1: Just because you can doesn't mean you should.


Vacuous Void? C'mon Jeff, could you even try to to be more redundant? This is some of the most derivative and unimaginative writing I've ever read.

That'll be $40.

SMH
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
-Hunter S. Thompson

User avatar
A.L.
buyin' a studio
Posts: 967
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2003 8:58 pm
Location: Oakland, CA

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by A.L. » Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:03 am

Come on man, that review review sucked.

Step up to the plate for once, CCPP.

User avatar
eeldip
dead but not forgotten
Posts: 2139
Joined: Fri May 02, 2003 5:10 pm
Location: NoPo

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by eeldip » Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:04 am

A.L. wrote:Come on man, that review review sucked.

Step up to the plate for once, CCPP.
hey, why don't you step up to the plate and review the review of the review?

User avatar
wayne kerr
ears didn't survive the freeze
Posts: 3868
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:11 am

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by wayne kerr » Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:21 am

eeldip wrote:
A.L. wrote:Come on man, that review review sucked.

Step up to the plate for once, CCPP.
hey, why don't you step up to the plate and review the review of the review?
Well, I could take a stab at reviewing the review of the review of the review of the review but I don't really have context to review the review of the review of the review of the review of the review. But then again, I could use the forty bucks. :lol:

SMH
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
-Hunter S. Thompson

User avatar
greenmeansjoe
buyin' gear
Posts: 524
Joined: Thu May 15, 2003 12:33 pm
Location: Newport News, Va.

Re: Your disc reviewed online

Post by greenmeansjoe » Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:40 am

If you're gonna offer this lame service, Jeff, you could at least be professional enough to do some editing:

Destination Venus
Todd Giudice
No Label
****
Driven in a quest for discovering moving and emotive music, we reference music which is known versus music that is unknown. Music that is learned versus music that is as yet, unlearned. As a primary rule, we can hearken back to the words of Arturo Toscanini as he coached his orchestra, "This is music, feel something!" A release from an unknown artist must be allowed to blossom. With familiarity growing from each listen,'Destination Venus' from Todd Giudice is currently in full-bloom in this reviewers CD collection.

Todd Giudice is from the Hudson Valley region of New York, and his 11-song disc evokes the sonic textures of The Band, Wilco and Dream Syndicate co-mingled with the best of America's folk rock roots. The jangling guitars and great melodic lyric phrasing blend to offer a sincere and lingering commentary that can easily be related to the living experience. In the opening track 'Waiting for the war to begin' Todd Giudice sings of the often painful depths of interpersonal interaction. He describes the essence of the knowing familiarity of two souls intertwined in a relationship; the anticipations and anxieties that lie therein and offers the realization of the inevitable co-dependence. He hints at the complacency to live within these two inevitable extremes as he sings "You know how to get near and hang my every thought on a string. Then you tear 'em down, each and every one, now there's no sound left to hear. We're waiting for the war to begin."

With a pure Americana vibe and Todd strumming an acoustic guitar, the track 'Help' delivers an almost country groove. The band remains grounded enough to excavate the emotional depths and lays bare an earthiness that lies beneath our emotions. Todd's vocals open with "I think I need a little help, asking for assistance. Baby, what I really want is some of your religion", describing what it means to have a degree of confidence and experience, yet still try to humbly face the world each day. The lesson is that the older we grow, the more biased the terrain and the more we should realize perhaps it takes a little work to remain objective and not isolate ourselves through idiosyncratic inward collapse.

In 'She's so beautiful' Todd sings of adoration. "In a stream of innocence, I can see her soul. It comes out soft and slow. All her love, it spills like sunshine from her eyes, in a gaze of endless sky". He is smitten, he is absorbed and he is devoted. This song also offers an exceptional retro-60s guitar solo reminiscent of that wonderful Roger McGuinn solo on "Eight miles high" with the Byrds or Pete Townsend's guitar work on "I can see for miles" with the Who.

In 'Grind', Todd Giudice sings "You start out really beautiful, then you reveal your tragic side" capturing that awkwardness and the incredible balance of daily living levied against self-control and the inherent vices we each carry with us. In this sense, he is speaking of emotional bad habits and not the traditional destructive behavior. As a bonus track, there is an acoustic version of this song instead of the full-band arrangement that appears earlier on this disc. The acoustic version, with its naked and spare instrumentation, offers a glimpse at the intimate power of a Todd Giudice solo performance.

With a balance of maturity coupled with strong melodies, exceptional band support and a fine recording, one wonders why an artist like this doesn't have wider national appeal. Anxiously, this reviewer will wait for further music and another chapter describing the beauty and fine details of our own evolving human condition. The music of Todd Giudice should be much more widely known.

Site: http://www.toddgiudice.com

Reviewed by: Jeff Robinson Posted: 2004-11-21 00:00:00

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest