Have 2 Prince Tix. Have Girlfriend Drama. Can We Make It?

[junokane]

Been seeing this lady now for 2 months or so. Really great, creative, wicked smaht, purty. We've got a lot of communication going, and we have much in common. We seem to "get" each other on a gut level.

But there's been some drama, about relationship kinds of stuff. Baggage, to use a therapyspeak term. Everybody's got luggage, it's just that ours doesn't match sometimes.

I'll say that even when we're embroiled in some heavy rap about what we want and what we're doing together, even when we're being open and not saying exactly nice things about each other, it's still generally a pretty good time. Someone will crack a joke and at least keep it human. We don't get in fights, we try to discuss. It's just that we agree that despite the chemistry (there's a ton) and the good stuff, there might be some differences we can't resolve.

Also, her job is driving her nuts and she has this long-standing jones to leave Boston and move back to her fave town so far, Santa Fe, where she still has friends and contacts.

We're both committed to trying to figure this out for a while. Right now we're taking a 3-4 day break from each other for perspective. It's a fact that we dig each other. It's just that you know, it might not work out, much as we want it to.

So a couple of weeks back, I handed over my credit card and spent $172 (Ticketmaster, grrr) for two choice seats at the Prince show in mid-August. We joked at the time that it was the first show of faith towards any potential longevity (meaning, dating for longer than a month) in our relationship, sort of a rite of passage, like buying a washer and dryer together, or taking an airplane to meet one of our sets of parents or something. Would we make it????

Well, will we??

If you have questions about lady X and myself, fire away. Then vote, won't you? I wanna know if the TO world thinks we've got the stuff to make it work, or if you think we'll just tough it out to see the Purple One and then break up. Or if we won't make it. So let the quips fly.

[bobbydj]

Prince?? Wtf.

I'll vote yeah later.

[aurelialuz]

well, if you guys are committed to making it work, then that's a great step. just realizing all these things that are contributing to your bad time is a realistic and adult way to approach things; "We don't get in fights, we try to discuss" is a key sentence.

and, shit, it's prince. if prince can't bring you together, nothing can.

alex

[wing]

man, i think the description of your relationship sounds more healthy and normal than many of the ones out there. that is all very healthy and normal.

it sounds like you guys care a lot about each other, and really "get" each other, and on top of that you don't fight much-- you discuss things through, and there's lots of chemistry. and you really like her... it sounds like a very good healthy relationship. you have communication going and you discuss! that's great! that's not an everyday thing!!

i mean, i'm obviously no therapist... but having luggage and stuff that just doesn't go together in a relationship to me seems normal. sure, you will have things you totally disagree on. you will butt heads at times. things won't match up always. there will be differences that cannot be resolved.

i think unless these "differences" and "luggage" are hugely dramatically important, deep and very serious things that make all the difference, then there is not much of a reason to think about or worry over such details. i mean, i have found myself doing that with my girlfriend... we have our differences, disagreements, things that don't match. but it's in tons of other and greater ways that things do match up, to where the differences and drama and problems are so tiny that they don't even matter. if this is the case, i would say you shouldn't worry over it. however, if the differences and baggage and stuff is way greater than the positive things, then maybe that is when you should reconsider...

i don't know much, your description is relatively vague. which is fine. but from what you've said, you seemed to basically express the image of every healthy relationship i've ever seen and known. we all have our differences and baggage and things that don't line up... but if you love the person and if the similarities and feelings you get far outweigh those "problems", then congratulations! you've got something good, healthy, and normal... and shouldn't worry otherwise.

i voted that prince will bring you guys together like never before... he does it for everyone!

[apropos of nothing]

You're in for a good time at the show, regardless. He's soooo good.

If you hate spoilers, don't look at my review of the show here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sarend ... tml#cutid1

heh heh.

[toothpastefordinner]

two months of dating someone and you've got drama? Fuck that dude, get out now. If you're arguing- sorry, "discussing"- after this short an amount of time, you don't need to be in it.

That's my $0.02, as someone who's been in many bad relationships, a few good relationships, and one lasting relationship.

[Mr. Dipity]

Been seeing this lady now for 2 months or so..

And you are already having 'relationship' worries?

At two months, most people I know have only just stopped sleeping with other people.

Just go to the damn concert.

[wing]

yea, i will admit 2 months is a short time to start having "problems" and issues and stuff... but what is 2 months for one couple could be 2 weeks for another, or 2 years for another. time is really subjective.

[trodden]

Been seeing this lady now for 2 months or so..

And you are already having 'relationship' worries?

At two months, most people I know have only just stopped sleeping with other people.

Just go to the damn concert.

yeah.... sometimes... i've learned that the hard way a couple of times.

[junokane]

Kewl. Lotsa commentary.

I'm surprised by the depth of sincerity in many, if not all, of the posts thus far. I was expecting, and actually hoping, for more cracking wise. Although I appreciate all the feedback and take it all seriously.

I don't expect anybody, myself included, to understand the delicate workings of this silly romance, especially from a message-board post. I think it's amusing to base the possible stay-together vs. break-up of an admittedly newly-minted relationship on the value of going to a Prince concert. It's kind of a joke between she and I. Thought I'd share it. And I wanted to brag on going to the show, since it's the most I've ever paid (or maybe ever will) to go to an entertainment event, by far, and it's gonna be kickass.

I am sickeningly aware of the fact that this thing has gotten real intense, real fast. I don't think that makes it bad. Depends on your definition of the word "drama". Personally, I think of drama as necessary (and I'm not talking about drinks thrown in faces, phone calls ended by slamming the phone down, or screaming matches in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart). Beats boredom. The drama I'm talking about is two pretty intense people who like each other intensely but also bring themselves to the table warts and all, which makes for some weirdness. But it's good weirdness, I believe. We've both been around the block and are sick of casual, show-your-pretty-side-only dating. I like the exposure.

And Wing is right -- time is subjective. I wish that it was more consistent for me, sometimes, but whatever.

I meant this to be a kind of "Tune in tomorrow...will they make it to 8/18?" kind of soap, which it is, and I'm having fun watching it unfold.

Bobby, you gotta problem with Prince? He wrote the soundtrack to my junior year in high school. Maybe that'll help you understand the draw.

thanks for reading, and the results, and please, continue if you like.

[/i]

[swingdoc]

Let us know every time you bag her.

[Bear]

Prince is more beautiful than most women, and at his concerts he rises out of the fucking ground amongst a bunch of smoke. Oh yeah, and his stage is a purple cross. If that doesn't solve your problems, try showing her this:

[wing]

If it doesn't work out, you could always hook up with Prince at the show! Of course, he likes sexy ladies, so you may have to make some changes first... but man it'd be worth it!

[wing]

If that doesn't solve your problems, try showing her this:

It's true. Ever since I discovered this photo, my wife took me back, my kids talk to me again, and I have more friends than I can count on one hand! Thank you Crocolaserstache Man!

[cassettefetish]

Yes, you will make it... at least to the Prince concert.

--Nick