Help Me Write Bad Hair Metal Lyrics!

[Bear]

Wouldn't it be amazing to have metal hair?

Like solid steel dreadlocks? Yes. That would be so amazing, my stomach would hurt if I saw it.

[swingdoc]

Chorus

Follow me to wizardry
Follow me to wizardry
Follow me to wizardry
Our Fractile Centaur will always be
Follow me to wizardry

[Jay]

When the goin' gets rockin', I'd rather be rockin'.

[sonikbliss]

who is she, she'll rock you like a tsunami

we are gonna take it, YES!! we are gonna take it, we are gonna take it from a whore

Slap the thigh and ride the wave high, i'm big woman lover ain't got nothin' to hide

we built this city on spandex pants

[tiger vomitt]

alright you people need to start a band STAT! as in get on it right muthafuckin now!

rock and rock
forget the roll

is wykyd killer i must say

everything is soo funny so far, ok so to sum up - oh and by the way i was gonna suggest "Leather and Lace" as your catch phrase but whatever at this point

oh shit this is really funny too:

we built this city on spandex pants

. it's true, we did. i remember that.

if this were a girl band we could call it Kryspi Banggz. or if i were a female porno star that'd be good. maybe i'll do that...

how about for a band name - "HairZpray"



or maybe "Wykydd HairZpray"




you know, like "im tangled in your black widow's web of Leather and Lace...." (pron. "LAYEEEEEEEEEEEESSS")

yup


well, seems appropriate here. for those that havent yet, http://evansobel.com/barbarian has some good ol fashioned dorky unicorn metal goin on

[tiger vomitt]

your lips, my hips, your fingertips
laser taco monkey
stilletto heels, tight black skirt
you see my medallion
poking thru this shirt?
it's my
medallion of power
fire! lightning!
let's do it til we're sore!!
unicorn!
sports car!
i wanna do it some more!

im your love wizard
creamy love blizzard
ow! yeah! ow!
im a slick lizard
open your love scissor
im tangled in your black widow's web of Leather and Lace....

[bobbydj]

That's goth-funk. Awesome.

[Monkeyfist]

See ref A. Spinal Tap: Break like the wind!

[coniferouspine]

Thanks to all who contributed, these were all some really great ideas. If anyone feels inspired to use any of them, feel free to appropriate any of them and do your own thing, they were awesome ideas! If you had "the right look,"a lot of you guys could have gotten a contract with Geffen in 1987, I tell ya! But I finally found my catch phrase and it was

"ROCKIN? WITH THE DEVIL"

and here are the first draft of the lyrics. You have to imagine more of a throaty Rob Halford voice, because I'm not much of a screamer.

ROCKIN' WITH THE DEVIL

Workin? in my castle, late nights in the lab
My test tubes and creations you know it drives me mad
He comes into the room with a blast of flaming fire
And offers me a contract that never will expire

Rockin? with the Devil
Rockin? With The Devil!
I was rockin? With The Devil!
Rockin? With The Devil and he's a SON OF A BITCH!

I was building me a woman, to fill my dearest dream
To take her to the carwash and wash her filthy clean
Then I hooked her to the power, it went surging through my hands,
The stranger then appeared and said "you ought to form a band"

I was rockin? with the devil!
I went rockin? with devil!
Rockin' with the devil!
I was rockin' with the devil and he's a SON OF A BITCH!

[bad guitar solo with a seemingly impossible number of hammer-ons and whammy bar divebombs]

Now I?m riding on a Harley a bimbo at my back
Cruise the strip for Strippers and I never get the clap
Made my fame and fortune, finally saw the plan
Got a contract with the devil now I?m rockin? in a band
Play our music loud, everywhere we go
Drinkin' from the bottle, never drivin' slow
On the road to hell, the gates are open wide
Girls will cram into the tour bus, there's always room inside

Cause we're rockin' with the devil!
Rockin with the devil!

We?re rockin? with the Devil!
We?re rockin? with the Devil!
We?re rockin? with the Devil!
Now we?re rockin? with the Devil!

etc,

Thanks ya'll! I'm gonna go back to recording now, and scream "Rockin' With The Devil" like three hundred times. Wonder what my neighbors next door will think.

[tiger vomitt]

dude i have to hear it whence it's like recorded

[Rigsby]

Wouldn't it be amazing to have metal hair?

Like solid steel dreadlocks? Yes. That would be so amazing, my stomach would hurt if I saw it.

Yeah, or like a solid steel fro.

[Isolation]

badassnicity! good mix of familiarities as well...

[I'm Painting Again]

Wild Wild Boys :

Out on the streets
under neon lights
we ride heavey metal horses
all through the niiiiiiight! (falsetto here)

chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun
chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun

Your love is like a rose
fragrant and sweet
but like any other rose
the thorns you will meeeeeeet! (falsetto here)

chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun
chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun

we're wild wild boys!
wild wild boys!
heavey metal toys
yeah! gruff!
wild wild boys!
heavey metal noise

chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun
chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun

descending scale here

wild boys on the prrrowwwl
we dont really care
under the neon lights
over times square

our love is an explosion
exploding all around
you and i make love babe
like a pair of wild hounds

ahhhwoooo!! (werewolf yell)

chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun
chuck-a chuck-a chun chuck-a chun chuk-a chun


ok im done with this..

[monkeyboy]

You got to post a link to this when you are done.
Please.

[joeysimms]

I am disappointed that "gimme gimme gimme all that meat, girl" did not make the cut.