Best quotes from TapeOpCon

[wayne kerr]

"If McDonalds is food, then Protools is audio."

- Mark Bingham


"I don't think a woman wants her gynecologist getting turned on by looking at her naked p**sy"

- Steve Albini


"You can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad"

- Fletcher


"Did you hear about the destitute snake? He didn't have a pit to hiss in."

- Cosimo Matassa


"Yes, the beer is free."

- Larry Crane



Your humble correspondent, Memphis, TN.

[coniferouspine]

I can't possibly paraphrase it, but the rant from Jim Dickinson was pretty great -- the one about "I'm an old man, and I tell my Rolling Stones stories -- if the session's budget is big enough -- and I got a buncha other stories, I've been doing this forever, and I tell my stories and the band is thinking to themselves that this fat old man won't shut up with the stories, and blah blah blah [rambles on a while] and then after a while these kids realize that all of the stories I'm telling all really all about THEM and what they're NOT doing that they SHOULD be doing to make a good record." Something like that but it was funny as hell!

[cgarges]

Just wait 'til I go through my tapes.

I liked it when Cosimo Matassa said that Alan Toussaint could turn a feather and a wishbone into a chicken and Toussant's reply was, "Well, a little chicken."

By the way, thanks for the hang, guys!

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC

[scott anthony]

Steve Albini in the middle of a rant on over complicated, menu driven outboard...

What the ---- is "halo sheen"? Why is the default 50? If I turn it to zero, do I have negative halo seen?

..funny guy

[wayne kerr]

Yeah, halo sheen! Sounds like it could be a Big Black 7". Hey nice meeting you CG and pine, and of course, wing!

S/H

Now in Nashville! With free desert!

[wing]

"Hi Jonathan"
?Larry Crane

"I'm gonna rob you"
?Guy on the street

"Minnesota has girls, sports, and bars... can you say Houston has that? NO!"
?Some drunk next to me in a bar

"You're gonna get killed"
?A Friendly New Orleans local


Cosmo really liked pointing out when people he worked with were gay. It was hilariously odd... haha.

Hey Eric, you still owe me a Creole Pizza!!!!

[scott anthony]

Cosmo, slightly paraphrased...

"Back then, the only guys doing anything digitally were proctologists."

[wing]

Cosmo, slightly paraphrased...

"Back then, the only guys doing anything digitally were proctologists."

oh ya... the only guys using anything digital. that's right. that was awesome.

[Girl Toes]

"If you want the drums to sound like Led Zeppelin, the first thing you need to do is go to England, get a shovel, and some deoderiser..."

-Fletcher

[wayne kerr]

Hey Eric, you still owe me a Creole Pizza!!!!

Oh crap you're right! Well, next year???

S/H

[TapeOpHillary]

my favorite was (and i'm hearing this second hand bcuz i was going from one side of the theatre to the other when it happened thank god) cosmo saying something about some woman who wasn't really a woman, she was a lesbian...wtf?!
can anyone recall this properly?

[scott anthony]

my favorite was (and i'm hearing this second hand bcuz i was going from one side of the theatre to the other when it happened thank god) cosmo saying something about some woman who wasn't really a woman, she was a lesbian...wtf?!
can anyone recall this properly?

I don't remember him mentioning her not really being a woman. I think he was saying (paraphrased a lot but the meaning I took)

"I had 3 or four engineers through that time. There was one girl, (insert name?), she was a lesbian, who was one of the best ones I worked with. I loved her... she was great. "

Somebody had to be taping this... please step up!

[48volt]

cosmo saying something about some woman who wasn't really a woman, she was a lesbian...wtf?!

Does this mean we are not audio engineers but "Lesbian Audio Engineers", is that like the Lesbian Avangers? hmm? But seriously we were still there for that part Hil, we left soon after. He mentioned her dedication and said,
(this is my favorite Cosimo Quote)
"If i were to tell her we would have to move
the building to get the sound, she'd be outside
and saying OK I got this corner "
Does any of this ring a bell?

[scott anthony]

Does this mean we are not women audio engineers but "Lesbian Audio Engineers", hmm?

My guess is that in his mind, that is quite possible. Not quite right at all. But he was being honored that eve and I can understand why nobody stepped up to teach an old dog, etc.

He does have a kind and gentle soul and I'm sure he meant nothing ill... the "corner" quote was great!

[cgarges]

Yeah, I remember him saying that. He did proceed to talk about how great she was and how much respect he had for her, but I did think it...um...STRANGE, to say the least.

Here's a couple other good ones:

"That's the definition of a successful product: when it it SO successful that part of your client base is people who hate your product (and) they still have to buy it."
--Albini in the SM57

"(On) some of the early punk stuff I recorded, the guitars may sound good simply because the drums really sucked so bad."
--Don Zientara

Chris Garges
Charlotte, NC