Spongebob Wins Iraqi Election

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Sponge Bob wins Election in Iraq!


Unconfirmedsources report that Sponge Bob has beaten the pants off Interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi. Early returns throughout Iraq are showing Sponge Bob Square Pants and Patrick well ahead of both "The Iraqis" and "The United Iraqi Alliance" lists. Shares of Viacom Entertainment rocketed skyward as the Nickelodeon stars poll numbers can in. Pollsters and political analysts are shocked that a gay loving foreign-born Sponge will take control of the government.

Middle east expert Juan Cole said he was not surprised at the result. "If the worlds most powerful nation can elect and ignorant illiterate wana-be cowboy that why can't the Iraqi people be lead by a yellow Sponge with Square pants?" Dr. Cole went on to say, "Sponge Bob has an excellent chance to salvage the nation of Iraq. With his universal appeal and the diplomatic strength of Patrick, I think they can succeed where the Bush team and Iyad Allawi have failed.

Sponge Bob Square Pants speaking from Krusty Krab's Western Baghdad location was confident but had not yet declared victory. "I would like to thank all of the Iraqi people for helping a poor damp sponge make his dreams come true. With the help of Patrick, Squidward and Sandy Cheeks I plan to unite Iraq and eject the vicious hordes of American occupiers! I mean liberators."

According to Juan Cole, The Bush administrations handpicked and financed, Iyad Allawi just could not capture the will of the Iraqi people. A Baghdad taxi driver put it this way. "I voted for Sponge Bob because I would rather be ruled by gay cartoon character than a puppet of George W. Bush!"

The Bush administration is not pleased with the result. Sources close the President say he is considering an executive order declaring Sponge Bob Square pants and Patrick enemy combatants and traitors. Condoleezza Rice showing her softer side commented "We didn't blow 240 Billion dollars of Americans hard earned money to elect a F--king Sponge!


http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=893